Congratulations Trinilanders fuh anudder fantastic exhibition of ah great festival. Carnival 2020 nah.

Ah cyar tork fuh all expats buh it have scaredy cyats in de ranks. We does hold we breath until larse lap over.

Fuh dem, or we, all it go take tuh reduce carnival tuh de level of what is de latest new norm in safety is two pulls of ah trigger. 

Is orn behalf ah dat group, (even eef is only me in it), ah offer tanks tuh owners of itchy trigger fingers fuh not scratchin de itch durin carnival.

Now all dat is left is tuh cut orf dem fingers fuh de sake ah de udder days in de year.

Dat said, two tings parse by mih eyes an ears in recent days. Mih reaction could not have been more visceral.

One was from ah hip-hop artist, name is irrelevant. However he prove heself tuh be a damn good “flim” star as me an udders used to say it growin up.

He declare Trinidadians know how tuh party.

Before he stated de obvious was ah next fella. Dis one was armed wid video clips tuh make he point: Trinidad not ah real place he intoned in a cross between smugness and piety or was it pity.

Both fellas get mih dander way up.

Over de years udder tings had mih de same way. Eef ah limit it tuh recent times, like from when ah went AWOL from dese parts, three topics come tuh mind. Each time dis, dat or side-kick, de udder, manage tuh settle mih dander back dong quick quick.

Take Double G — slash de TTPS. Ah stop countin how often he an it fall tuh dis.

Trini football decline was steady an open yet nuttin from me. Dat was de cause.

What bout de ongoin saga in healthcare? Mih silence? Blame de udder.

Not dis rongs.

Me teet done sink into dis one an ah plan tuh hunt an peck mih way tuh de finish line.

De fella who make de, not-ah-real-place video? Mih pardnah suggested ah consider he tuh be ah comedian. Nobody wid one lens ah dey glasses covered an ah dotish look orn dey face could be serious, dis sometimes defender ah bovine droppings offered up. Ah cuss he fuh de suggestion.

De way I see it, One Good Lens is one ah dem who cyar see nuttin good in Triniland. Dey so good at diggin fuh de bad de mere mention of de country an like dey ready wid big stone.

What pisses me orf de most, is de sense of moral superiority an preachiness dey does give orf.

Some ah dem I does want tuh buss kiss on offerin assurance all is well now dey escape dat hell-hole.

Fuh udders I does wish ah had ah bull pistle. Fuhget what ah does want tuh do tuh de ones who does be all smug.

Me eh go lie, couple of de clips had mih wonderin what jail is dis ah seein. An tuh say alcohol does bring out de worse in some people while fuh udders carnival is ah time fuh over de top outrageousness is not much of ah defense. Worse eef yuh mix de two intoxicants.

Buh dat mean de country is ah joke? Steups oui.

Never been tuh Rio buh ah guess Brazil not ah real place based orn carnival clips I see. 

Mardi Gras? Shoot, Bourbon Street by itself make de whole state ah fantasy place.

At some level ah know is ah human characteristic ah railin against. Mih question doh is simple: Why Trinis have tuh more human dan udders—sorry Mr. Orwell. George nah.

Ah could link tuh dis fella video buh no. Who want tuh look at it an smirk, “See? See? Dis is why ah does go Maracas every year”, go have tuh hunt.

Ludicrous, ent?

What about de comments ah de hip-hop fella who early o’clock ah say ah not namin?

Dis year ah get fed up wid all de clips ah get from people who tink dey was providin testimonials from outsiders orn how great Trini Carnival is.

Stop it!

Delete mih email address from all ah allyuh lists.

I know T&T carnival is de greatest.

“All Trinis done know dat,” ah tell mih pardnah. How much proof we keep needin or is it about continual validation? We orn opioids?

Tanks buh I full.

Dat wasn’t always mih tinking.

Is ah next pardnah who start mih revolution in torts. Yes, he say, is we invent pan. Nobody cyar tief dat. We doh need tuh send ah band tuh every pan competition in de world. We have nuttin tuh prove tuh nobody.

Let de world have we invention an let de world do wid it what it will.

Is out ah dat philosophy ah reach mih position orn carnival.

Dis is not about foreigners new tuh carnival. Is about some ah we. Ah tired of how dat “some” does act orgasmic when foreigners, especially wid American accents, say dey love carnival an how Trinis know how tuh party.

Ah was watchin ah reporter interview some foreigner in ‘bago land carnival week. He gushed about de good time he was havin. But dat wasn’t enough fuh de reporter. She stick de mic in he face an in de most dotish of dotish voices ask him eef he ever see anyting like it anyplace else. She had tuh be tremblin she was so giggly.

Maybe is me. Maybe I cyar shake de feelin dat while whoever pat we gorn, we. . . . We eh even want tuh wash de part dat get pat.

We cyar keep seekin out pats orn we head fuh what we have. What go happen eef de comments get negative? Like wid One Good Lens. In de spirit ah transparency I question he Trini papers.

I not promisin I eh go go postal de next time I hear ah Trini say how embarrassed or ashamed dey is when some Trini do shit orn ah scale dat have it reach outside T&T. An we know how social media shrink dat scale.

In spite ah all mih donkey years as an expat, de onlyest person tuh ever ask mih about any Trinidadian who do shit is ah borse. Many years ago. He ask because he was an avid sport fan an boxer Claude Noel went an get knock out in he first title defense.

Ok so ah miss de chance tuh enlighten mih horse about my limited knowledge of everybody from back home, especially Tobago.

De question dat bring mih back tuh bloggin really not about eef Trinidad an Tobago is ah real place or eef its people is de best partiers.

Being from Trini or ‘bago land is a unique birthright. How dat manifests itself in we culture need no validation. At any level. By anybody.

I takin ah page out ah de book of de leader ah de band in de Mighty Cypher classic, If De Priest Could Play — who eh like it now know where tuh direct dey lips.