When people wake up on de mornin’ ah July 30^th, it go be tuh de realization dat Jack Warner representin’ Chaguanas West again. I tinkin’ it go only be one set ah people who go be surprised doh – Kamla an’ she peeps.

Ah could be wrong as dey might decide not tuh sleep on July 29^th, an’ say dey eh ‘wake up’ on de 30^th tuh dat realization. Dat could wuk. Just like all de jackassness dat she an’ dem engaged in an’ callin’ it electioneerin’.

Dis is ah increasingly dutty fight Kamla havin’ wid Jack. It just happen tuh be in Chaguanas West. It could ah easily be in Laventille, Sah War even Digo Martin. Dey could ah be rollin’ arong in de mud in any ah dem places. Eef yuh doh live in Chaguanas West, wipe yuh brow an’ say ‘whew!’ as yuh dodge gettin’ splash wid mud. Yuh eh go be able tuh dodge de unparalleled bacchanal dat comin’ wid Jack’s victory doh.

Unless yuh vote wid me.

Quick!

Who is Khadijah Ameen, besides Jack’s trinispeakin’ protégé?

Yes, she is de UNC candidate fuh Chaguanas West.

Maybe ah should ah ask who is de UNC candidate fuh de seat. Den yuh would ah start tuh say, ‘Kaam’, den cyatch yuhself. De way Kamla been campaginin’ it look like she, Kamla Persad-Bissessar, is de real candidate.

Why Kamla refusin’ tuh remember de larse election? She fuhget how she waltz over tuh de sister isle an’ try tuh take over? Actin’ like she presence alone would sway voters? She figured eef she convince dem dat cat in bag is ah good buy, dey would ah buy all de candidates she had in dem bags. Well people in Tobago eh dotish an’ Kamla end up holdin’ de bag an’ covered in whitewash.

It eh de same strategy in Chaguanas West only more personal an’ stinker? Kamla’s goal is tuh destroy Jack at all costs. De same Jack dat she once say eh geh convicted ah nuttin so he clean enough tuh be ah govahment minister. Dat mightn’t ah be she exact words, buh dat is what she was meanin’.

She was perfectly fine tuh have him in she inner circle when he was dis hardest wukkin’ minister, buh now, she more den willin’ tuh criticize all de tings she didn’t have ah problem wid before. I eh tink she could ah hold Jack tighter tuh she tut-tuts widout she husband eh feelin’ like he gettin’ horn. It eh just Kes De Band dat wotless nah, is de whole bunch ah dem wid Kamla leadin’ de assault like she eh have no principles or nuttin. Some ministers in she cabinet have dey marchin’ orders on how tuh pelt dey own bottle at Jack.

Torkin’ about politicians but wid endless principles? Dis week Nelson Mandela turn 95. What ah man, what ah man. Ah wonder what is de closest Trinbago ever come tuh havin’ ah politician like…….. nah, let mih stay wid dese stinkers.

Most ah de politicians in T&T should pretend dey playin’ wind ball cricket so dey wid know when tuh out deyself. Tanks tuh Paul Keens-Douglas fuh dat line.

Jack like he had enough an’ he takin’ orf de gloves or maybe he puttin’ dem orn. Ah hear he call one ah Kamla’s peeps de ‘most vindictive politician alive’. Yes, Jack was torkin’ about somebody else. He say he movin’ tuh Tabaquite tuh show de people dey how tuh vote. Connect de dots nah.

Although ah say plenty times me eh no fan ah Jack Warner’s politics, dat eh have nuttin tuh do wid he intelligence. Eef he was dotish he wouldn’t have dis bottomless pit ah money dat Kamla only now questionin’.

Jack eh just catch ah vaps an’ resign he seat den say he goin’ an’ ask he ex-constituents tuh re-elect him. He have ah plan. By de way, dat re-election announcement? Ah borse move.

He eh gorn an’ start he own party cause he have money tuh burn, although he probably ‘acquire’ enough he could burn some.

He have ah plan. Dat is why ah expect not regular bacchanal once he win buh unprecedented bacchanal. Ah hope dem ministers in Kamla cabinet who go be joinin’ he ILP eh go do so because dey tort it is dat Indian cricket organization.

When ah watch how Jack’s ‘former’ constituents treated him ah waited fuh comments from dem who does tork about de politics ah race in T&T tuh explain what ah was seein’.

Is ah ‘Jack Warner’ representin’ ah ‘Chaguanas West’ ah anomaly? ‘Yes’ is mih answer eef I was ah dogmatic proponent ah de idea ah tribal politics. Once ah call it ah anomaly an’ you wonderin’ what dat mean, I done change topics cause me eh want yuh tell mih ah torkin’ dotishness.

Before all dis ah get dis history lesson from ah fella explainin’ how black Jack end up in Indian Chaguanas West. De fella say dat Jack wanted more from de UNC besides, ‘tanks fuh de money’. De leaders went tuh Chaguanas West an’ introduce he tuh de people. Jack, de people get tell, was goin’ an’ be dey representative so dey was tuh vote fuh he. De man tell de story like he was dey fuh every word so I eh had no reason tuh doubt dat he wasn’t ah certified Trini.

Certified or not, ah know it have someting between Jack an’ he constituents. It eh tribal politics an’ Kamla tactics eh breakin’ dat bond. Jack is dey don. Ah waitin’ fuh dis sign, “AFTER God Jack Comes NEXT!!!!” Ah only change one word from de placard in de picture ah tief dat from eh.

So who it have in dis race besides de coalition of Kamla, some ah she ministers an’ dey figurehead candidate, Khadijah all rolled into one an’ goin’ after Jack?

Well it have somebody name Avinash Singh. De PNM pick he fuh dem same tribal politics reasons. On second torts, me eh tink dis race could ah happen in dem places ah name earlier, especially dong by Rowley.

Ah next candidate is Ishmael Samad fuh someting call de Party fuh Integrity an’ Morality in Politics. Ah see someplace dey call it de PIMPs party.

It have somebody name Oliver Norman. He dey wid de National Coalition fuh Transformation. Dat is ah party or ah video game?

Den it have ah Dr. Kirk Meighoo, de Democratic National Assembly candidate. Sorry Dr. Kirk, me eh know ah damn ting bout you.

Six in all.

Man I so reach mih limit wid dis campaign. While ah not ah vengeful person ah cyar see mihself votin’ fuh de UNC/PP.

Me eh care eef he was de hardest wukkin’ minister. Not even eef he eh spend plenty time applyin’ fuh houses fuh people outside he district. Ah parsin’ on Jack. Plus he might ups an’ disappear an’ gorn. Next ting ah hear, he in ah land far away on ah multi year restricted forced vacation. From all dat hard wuk maybe?

I eh even have tuh tink about mih no vote fuh de PNM. I cyar support ah belief in tribal politics like is someting multi ethnic Trinbago cook up. Who think T&T is de armpit ah de world eh gettin’ help from me in dat dotish belief.

David Abdulah is mih political spiritual advisor. How de police jack he up back in 2009, an’ march he orf on he toes mean he pay he dues. Sorry Mr. Samad.

Mr. Oliver Norman? Eef he party name is ah slogan den it go change just now? Ah go be able tuh find it in de booth?

Dat leave Dr. Kirk Meighoo. Me eh know nuttin………..

Buh wait.

Dat eh it?

Dat is it right dey!!

Jack go win buh ah know who I votin’ for.