Was one ah dem times ah was movin wid blinders orn as opposed tuh wid blindin speed. De bank was closin at 5, I stumble een holdin mih sides an wheezin no more dan 5 minutes tuh five an no less dan 2 minutes till.

Ah barely manage tuh motion tuh de Customer Service representative, who ah callin Lady #1, tuh hold she welcome. Once mih heart slow dong, ah ask she tuh repeat de greetin as ah could answer now. She laugh instead. Ah tell she why I was dey so she take mih tuh Lady #2. When dat woman recognize mih name, she wrinkle up she face an ask mih why ah reach so late.

Dat light mih fuse one time.

Ah was also vex earlier when me an she did tork orn de phone. Was fuh udder reasons doh. Dat conversation end wid me askin she what time de bank was closin. When she tell mih 5, ah tell she ah go do mih best tuh get dey before dat. Okay she say. Why she eh say doh come so late, even eef de bank wasn’t goin an be closed yet? Ah wasn’t out ah breath because ah not in shape. Was because ah how ah interpret an respond tuh dat okay she say. Now she skinnin up she face an torkin dotishness about how ah reach so late, de bank closin just now. Ah was ready tuh blaspheme oui.

Back back ah week.

Ah decided tuh stop orf at de same bank Customer Service tuh ask about someting ah Trini place wanted so I could do business wid dem. Was ah letter showin ah not no crook. Dey use de title good character letter doh. Ah wondered eef all de local Trinis dat company does do business wid is upstandin citizens buh decide too much pot holes on dat road.

Back back some more. We now in Triniland.

De Trini Customer Service rep tell me once ah had dis document tuh come back. Tuh make sure ah hear she good ah ask eef she tellin mih ah had tuh leave Triniland, get dat form from mih bank an return tuh T&T. She tell mih yes. Me eh know eef she blink yet, buh she sure eh blink when she tell mih dat. Luckily ah bounce up an next Customer Service person before ah walk out de door cussin tuh mihself. Dat person had sense. Dey tell mih I eh have tuh do none ah dat. Instead, dey present de reasonable alternative dat had mih in mih bank lookin at Lady #2 cut eye.

Enough backgrong.

Five o’clock parsin. Lady #1 save de day as she invite mih into she orfice tuh find out what goin orn. She was being nice buh so too was Lady #2 de week before. Mih guard was up: No more fake niceness was goin an fool me. She ask mih why I eh get de document when ah was een de bank before. It doh take long tuh produce she tell me. Dat is when ah realize I eh have tuh hate she guts too.

She confirm how mih larse name does get pronounce. Next ting I know de woman start up like dat Saturday mornin cartoon show wid de character who tief mih name.

Included in we small tork was ah question about bankin T&T style. Ah tell she ah cyar bank dong dey since she bank have all mih money. She eyes narrow an lines between she eyebrows appear like does happen when people suspicious. In de continuing ole tork she say while she is ah banker she discover she true callin an finishin up she second degree, dis one in nursin.

Next ting ah know de woman ask mih eef ah is . . . wait fuh it . . . Trini tuh de bone. Dat cyatch mih orf guard. Ah tell mihself she Trini connections stronger dan somebody who only know de word Trini. Is marrid she tell mih she marrid tuh ah Trini yes.

She mention de healthcare system. Tuh put it bluntly she tink it sucks. She husband geh food poisonin de larse time dey was in Triniland so orf dey went tuh ah private doctor. He tell dem it might be Chik V. She tell him nah, is food poisonin; he show all de symptoms. All he need is de antibiotics. She tork about how she husband fadder needed cataract surgery, someting she say routine in de US. Me eh know so ah just listenin. When dat private doctor was done, is lorse she fadder in-law done lorse he sight out de eye. She tork about medical screw-ups, (she words), wid she mudder in-law. She use de word malpractice several times.

Now I doh sit back an let non-Trinis take free shots at Triniland even eef dey marrid tuh ah Trini an what dey sayin is true. Not eef dey cyar use ent in two one-word sentence an tell mih how each different. Ah had tuh mount some kind ah defense.

Ah tell she Trinidad an Tobago eh no different from udder developin countries. Part ah de problem ah say, is dat people doh feel dey have alternatives so dey does take whatever treatment dey get. Ah tie dat tuh someplace dat develop—Canada. Ah suggest dat in Canada, people does put up wid doctors who have bad bedside manners because it eh easy tuh change doctors. How true dat is, me eh know. Ah even suggest tuh she dat de healthcare system in T&T better dan in dem udder Caribbean islands. Me eh know if dat true fuh all. Of course, ah suggest when she get she nursin degree she could move tuh Triniland wid she mister an wuk in healthcare dong dey.

By dis time it was goin orn half 5. Ah watch she take mih information an enter it into she computer. She turn she back orn de real personal stuff an let mih key it in orn ah lil pad. When everyting was done she hit enter. Ah peep over she shoulder while she was readin what come back on de screen. She eh say nuttin probably because it was my information. Satisfied, she print de results.

Me eh tink de Trini rules friendly tuh Trinis not livin in Triniland an who damn tired ah dem sweat-pants-over-tights-over-outside-pants winters. Tuh tell ah man he have to go an come back wid ah one page document widout considerin de distance or time is nonsense. It eh tuh poor people like me dey need tuh be lookin at fuh money launderin; I doh wear no jacket an tie nah.

Anyway, tuh make dis long story shorter, ah put away de letter. Lady #1 walk mih tuh de door since she had tuh unlock it tuh let mih out. She sing mih name one larse time tellin mih eef ah had any problems tuh let she know. Ah tell she tuh tell she husband she run into ah next Trini.

Ah head fuh home, walkin slow. No blinders dis time, instead ah was wearing ah smile.