Lord?

Lord ah sick!

Lord ah sick an’ ah gettin’ sicker.

By de second.

It start out wid ah lil headache, ah lil cough an’ one or two ah dem sneeze dat does hut yuh belly. Dat was bout Monday evenin’. Ah know mihself, so ah did know right dey ah was goin’ an’ get sick. Ah was goin’ an’ stay well enough tuh wuk buh by Friday afternoon, ah would be dong fuh de count. Saturday ah would be sick like ah dorg, cyar get up. By Sunday evenin’ tings would be turnin’ arong. Monday would reach an’ go be ready fuh de job ah love wid all mih heart.

So is Saturday an’ guess where I is?

Steups.

I so good, I predict Anthony Thomas Aquinas Carmona go be president oui. 

Lord, ah sick!

Mih head poundin’ like eef Phase II, Exodus an’ All Stars iron men beatin’ in it.  Mih eye an’ nose competin’ like dey is Hasely and Kishorn. Mih troat sore like de PNM two years after losin’ tuh Kamla. When ah cough is de same kind ah ting comin’ out as when ah PP scandal break. On top all ah dat, ah feel like somebody beat mih wid ah coconut branch cricket bat. Oh yeah, dat sneeze ah just sneeze? Dat making sure de place eh stay fog up.

Ah would ah never feel dis sick back in de day in Triniland. Not wid mih mudder dey tuh apply dem home-made remedies fuh any kind ah ailment. She wouldn’t ah spend no money eidder. Not like here. So far ah done spend like, well how ever much ah spend it was too much.. Some kind ah horse tablet ah suppose tuh take every twelve hours. Steups. Waste ah mih money, not tuh mention mih damn time listenin’ tuh de pharmacist, cause me eh feelin’ no better since ah start taking it. Back in dat same day? Yuh would ah dead an’ come back alive before somebody walk quite dong tuh de drug store an’ reach back wid medication. De backyard was de drug store.

From what ah remember, I eh tink anybody used tuh get de flu. Wid all dem remedies mih mudder an’ gran-mudder used tuh give we chirren, was no way any cole was changin’ over tuh de flu.

Was all kind ah bush tea too mih mudder used tuh have mih drinkin’ buh ah cyar remember all ah dem. Ah know dis Bajan woman who does say yuh cyar make no real tea wid raw water. Ah like dat phrase, ‘raw water’. Yes, de water have tuh be boilin’ away fuss.

Ah remember Senna but dat was fuh when ah did cork up from eatin’ too much guava. De trute was me eh know all de kind ah bush tea ah used tuh get cause my only role was tuh take what mih mudder give mih. It didn’t make no sense askin’ she what was in de cup. All ah would ah hear was, ‘boy, look, yuh gettin’ sick, drink de tea while it hot an’ doh ask mih no dotish questions yuh hear?’

Months ago ah did save de peel from dis orange. Ah could start mih recovery dis rounds wid some Trini orange peel tea. I eh mention dat cause dat was too common tuh not know what it was. Only ting wid dis peel is as soon as ah touch it, it does break an’ ah doh remember it bein’ dis crispy back in de day. Ah wonderin’ eef is all dem chemicals dey does spray on fruit here. Dey eh expectin’ nobody tuh boil orange peel in water tuh drink? Great. Now me eh want tuh drink nuttin make from dat peel. Ah would ah make sure de water wasn’t raw. De tea would ah be pipin’ hot, so hot it would ah bun mih tongue, just like how mih mudder used tuh have mih drinkin’ it.

Usually de fuss ting mih mudder would ask mih when it look like ah was comin’ dong wid de cole is eef ah went outside in de dew wid nuttin on mih head. If she wasn’t askin’ dat den she wanted tuh know how long after ah finish ironin’ ah went an’ bade. Ah did never know how long ah was supposed tuh wait so ah never did wait if she wasn’t arong. When she ask mih how long ah wait ah used tuh lie.

It had de sorf candle. She would heat dat lil bit an’ rub it on mih chest. Dat first piece was de warmest an’ used tuh feel so good on mih chest, ent? Eef wasn’t sorf candle, den was Vicks. Some would go under mih nose so ah could breed in de fumes an’ keep mih nose from stoppin’ up. Wid hot tea in mih system, whatever part ah mih body didn’t have Vicks or sorf candle was where ah used tuh sweat. De bed used to get wet in strange places. An’ yes, it was sweat as ah did stop peein’ de bed long time.

Ah want tuh say at least one time mih mudder put some bay leaf on mih forrid, soak ah towel in warm water an’ ban mih head wid de towel.  Ah want tuh say dat buh ah eh sure eef dat one eh ah false memory.

Ah cyar forget de honey, lime-juice an’ rum mix tugedder tuh drink doh. Ah did like dat one. Must have been de clash ah de very different tastes. Eef ah could ah get enough ah de rum by itself ah would ah forget about all mih aches an’ pains, buh yuh know how mudders back den did stop.

Ah tinkin’ ah tryin’ de rum, honey an’ lime juice right now. Scrap dat remedy as I eh have no rum an’ I eh tink wine or Carib wuk de same. Plus all mih honey done.  I have limes buh I eh sucking dat by itself.

Garglin’ wid warm salt an’ water? Ah remember dat one when mih troat wanted tuh get sore. De right spot fuh de salt water tuh be when ah gargle it was on mih tonsils. It parse dey an’ was in mih belly it gorn. Every time mih mudder had mih gargle wid salt water, ah had tuh go an’ swallow some. Steups.

It had as much home-made remedies as it had homes in T&T. Ah hear some people tork about Bay Rum. De onlyest ting I did see Bay Rum doin’ was gettin’ de good fuh nuttin neighbor pissin’ drunk. Den he would lay dong on de pavement, head propped up by de fence, arguin’ wid heself an’ cussin’ imaginary people. When yuh tink he parse out an’ yuh bend dong tuh shake him, he used tuh tink you was one ah dem imaginary people an’ is cuss he start cussin’ again, stink stink. Doh duck when he start, an’ he spit zappin’ yuh oui. So no Bay Rum was by we in case one ah we chirren get ideas.

Someting used tuh geh put in ah pot wid water in it an’ ah used tuh have tuh put mih big head over de pot wid ah towel coverin’ it an’ de pot so ah could breed in de fumes. What was dat, ah wonder? Camfuh Balls?

Ah did hate Castor Oil. Dat fishy smell does cause mih tuh gag tuh dis day oui. Ah was glad when de capsules did finally reach. Den all ah had tuh worry about was eef it would ah buss in mih mouth before ah swallow it.

Hold orn ah have tuh gag.

Okay, ah done.

Maybe ah go try drinkin’ de hot water wid lemon an’ honey den rub Vicks on mih chest an’ troat, wrap ah towel rong mih neck, cover mih chest an’ go rest.

Ah was checkin’ into udder Trini cole remedies from dem days. Ah read about people who does make some kind ah tea wid garlic. Me eh know about dat one an’ I eh plannin’ tuh try it. Garlic doh melt, so how yuh does get de flavor out in de tea water, raw or udderwise?

De only way I did know ginger root was nice cold ginger beer. Is years later ah hear dat people used tuh make hot ginger tea. Ah try it an’ it good. It does clear mih head. Why every tea have tuh be so friggin hot doh.  All dem lil bumps on de tip ah mih tongue does get so sensitive.

Me eh puttin’ dong we Trini, West Indian, or home made remedies nah. It have someting de drug store does sell fuh de cole, it call Theraflu. De one yuh does mix in hot water? It have ah orange flavor tuh it. Yuh eh supposed tuh take it eef yuh have liver, heart or thyroid disease, high blood pressure or diabetes. So why I go take dat over orange peel tea?

Lord ah sick buh ah fightin’ back.

Well mih mudder gorn years now, God rest her eternal soul. Back in de day gorn too. Is up tuh me tuh carry orn de tradition an’ beat dong dese blasted ailments. Startin’ now. Orange peel tea time.

‘Anybody see de Vicks?’