Mandrax or MX; yes ah remember it well.

It eh had no such ting as ah straight line wid MX users. Eef you livin two houses from ah fella high on MX an he comin by you, yuh could pull up ah chair, sit back an admire how he doin dat.

Even eef he start orf on de same side ah de road wid you he would go from dat side across tuh de next side den back, over an over. Each time he reach back on your side he ah foot closer. Fifteen yards might end up being ah mile.

Doh let him stop walkin cause he fuhget where he goin. He would stand up straight den start sinkin tuh de grong. Ten minutes later, when yuh tink he finally go hit de grong, he bounce back up an start sinkin again.

Eef he remember which part he was goin he would start walkin again: one side ah de road tuh de next. Fifteen yards could take ah hour.

Watchin dem fellas was my drug.

Fuh who do remember MX it always had ganja. It was kicks watchin fellas who smoke weed find humor in de simplest ah tings. Den it had de ones who would stay quiet an only smile.

Ah wonder eef yesterday’s T&T drug users would find anyting amusin in some ah de tings dat goin orn tuhday?

What are de chances any ah dem readin dis? Fat an slim somebody say? Hmm . . . two opposite words meanin de same ting?

In 2006 she geh kidnapped den murdered, by all accounts brutally so. De trial start in March 2014. Twelve accused murders. Twelve months later, March 2015, de trial still goin orn. How much time it stop an start, stop an start? Mandrax?

While some serious tings could be funny, dis eh one. Will dis end wid justice fuh de victim, Vindra Naipaul-Coolman? Dis so sad it would make even ah tight man sober.

Forensic Pathologist Dr. Valery Alexandrov was toilin in T&T for the past seven years often pongin de powers dat be. Now he contract up. He say he hopin to keep wukkin een Triniland despite all de tings he complain about. Ah know what it mean tuh love T&T buh ah have tuh wonder eef is more dat he cyar find wuk no place else?

Is true he get ah questionnaire from de ministry dat new job applicants does get askin how soon he would be ready to fly to Trinidad? If he does tork fluent English an what he tink is ah good salary? Doh tell mih dis eh funny. It eh even bong tuh be true because funny is funny.

T&T Under 17 footballers playin in ah tournament tuh see eef dey go make it tuh de World Cup. Dey play an lorse 3 games so far. Not tuh be confused wid de few warmup games dey play an lorse as part of dey tournament preparations. De US who done beat dem had what, over 40 warmup games? Dem poor T&T players sent tuh ah gunfight wid dull penknives. It funny orn one hand buh sad on de udder.

Dis one is mih preemptive strike against mih dotishness. How much time I comment about cost over-runs on local projects? Not many ah hope buh ah sure de mudder of all botched projects, de Tarouba Stadium, is one ah de few.

Well New York City have ah project tuh upgrade dey 911 system, 999 tuh Triniland. Dis project now 10 years late an one billion Yankee dollars over budget. Dat is about TT $6.3 billion Ah hope dem fellas eh too tight tuh appreciate de ironic humor in dis one. Since it have ah message maybe ah should hold orf orn it?

Fareed Ali, he name. Lawyerin is he game. Ah more familiar wid he skills outside de court doh. How long he manage tuh keep Marcia Henville husband in de hospital? Now dis Henville man, de prime suspect in he own wife murder orf tuh St. Anns fuh evaluation. Fuhget dem druggies, I keepin Fareed name fuh mihself. Who knows when ah might need it.

Parallel Universe? Dat is someting up de alley ah dem MX users. Ah notice it now have people wid well-known names livin dey. Take Clive Lloyd. De man quoted as sayin he tink de West Indies have ah formidable side wid batsmen as deep as number 8 or 9. All ah dem he say have had good scores. In de same innings Clive? What about een de same match den? Clive? Come back across here where yuh belong. What allyuh fellas tink?

Ah just realize tight people could say what funny fuh deyself, Dey not dummies. Let mih ask Matchbox Stick. He was de fat one in we lime.

“Aye Matchbox Stick! When yuh tight what does make yuh laugh fuh so? Or it real deep yuh does only smile.”

“Boy yuh eh want tuh run someting now so ah could tink?”

“No man, just answer nah.”

“Hmm. Boy, yuh see when de afternoon lime break up early, I does go een de back by No Left Foot fuh ah lil Mary Jane before ah go home. Dat does hold mih till de evening lime. At home ah dey in front de TV relaxin wid Crix, ah ripe fig an ah Red Solo–red, not white.”

He stop. Ah steups.

“Yuh know dat eh funny right?”

“Ah man cyar take een oxygen now or what?”

Ah start hummin like ah borse.

“When de TV news start, sometimes de announcer does go tuh ah next reporter or ah tape fuh de rest of ah story. Sometimes when dey come back from de reporter or de tape de same announcer from before does ups an read everyting ah just hear, word fuh word. Man I does dead wid laugh. It does feel like ah stereo dat out ah time tryin tuh tief mih head.”

Matchbox Stick real observant. Buh laugh? Stereo? Maybe eef ah didn’t use tuh walk so much ah would ask him tuh slip ah tablet under de table.

I eh sure how tuh put dis one buh ah hearin de howlin ahready.

Why everyting does have tuh reach crisis before it does get attention?

Snickerin start. Ah touchin why some fellas does do drugs or what.

Why days before carnival, panic start when de poleece threaten tuh turn dey backs on carnival because compensation torks stall?

“Allyuh doh strike nah an we go fix allyuh up after carnival.”

Before de poleece was de nurses.

Braps! Man fall over one time repeatin de plea from de authorities.

How long de PTSC know tings eh right wid dey workers? Why it had tuh reach industrial action wid 74-year old Keith Oscar in Mason Hall Tobago findin out it eh have no bus runnin in ’bagoland? He tort dey was just runnin lopsided as usual.

Dat do it. Who wasn’t already rollin on de grong start leanin tuh one side imaginin ah lopsided bus.

Is braps after braps.

Why go orn wid dis? Dem fellas, as tight as dey is done get de picture.