Steups.

Ah did say tuh mihself dat I eh go bodder commentin’ on nuttin dat is ah normal kind ah ting in T&T. Ah was adoptin’ de policy dat smart parents does adopt wid dey harden chirren. It hard but smart parents does learn tuh stop wantin’ anyting fuh dey harden chirren more dan dem same harden chirren does want it fuh deyself. Ah sure dat have exceptions eh. Buh yuh eh tink dat eh ah good policy tuh have if yuh is ah parent? Look at all de stress yuh go save yuhself from.

Now ah steupsin’ again.

Ah did also say ah wasn’t goin’ an’ put mih two cents in on nuttin dat eh happen in 2013. Yes, dat was goin’ an’ be ah real challenge, buh ah was up tuh it. Tuh besides, all dem cents ah was goin’ an’ save?

So why ah steupsin’ so?

Well, ah was doin’ real good.

Ah watch de family an’ friends ah de soldier who dead dong Tetron bun tyres in de road in protest an’ ah eh say nuttin. After all, is ah man dead under questionable circumstances.  So ah watch wid mih mout shut tight.

Ah listen tuh Jack tork more shit, dis time about police car wid spotlight dat could shine 2 miles an’ siren dat yuh could hear 3 miles away. Ah listen tuh he say dat eef Williams want dem is, ‘Abracadabra!’ he go have dem. Ah listen an’ ah keep mih mout shut although ah did put ah lil hole in mih tongue, ah was bitin’ it so hard.

Den ah hear President Max leavin’ an’ dey have tuh pick ah next president. Den ah tork. Ah say, ‘yes, dat is what ah go be on mih soap box about’.

Buh ah went an’ keep readin’ an’ now ah vex cause ah have tuh take out some ah dem two cents ah just put in mih pocket.

Let mih get goin’ so ah could get mih money’s worth before ah brokes.

First de soldier dead from natural causes. No autopsy yet or nuttin buh dey know dat is how he died. Next ting autopsy say, nah is strangle he geh strangle. Let we keep count, dat was autopsy number one. He family an’ friends engage in de latest form of protest in T&T – bunnin’ tires in de road tuh stop traffic from parsin’. Ah done express mih torts on dat so ah wasn’t go say nuttin. Not about ah family in grief. But den it had ah next autopsy, dat make two. Ah next autopsy man do it an’ it confirm, yes de soldier geh strangle, buh he geh kick in he head too. Well dat was all de Trini press needed tuh hear. De innuendo an’ dem start. One paper say de murder on tape although de story eh back dat claim up. Dat same paper say he was guardin’ de ammunition bunker when he geh kill. Ah go leave people tuh decide deyself what de innuendo in dat mean.

Den one ah de two pathologist, say he goin’ dong Tetron tuh match up de scene wid he findings. Next ting ah read, Dr. Hubert Daisley, apologizin’ tuh de dead soldier’s family. I eh know eef is he dat went dong Tetron. Let mih stop bein’ rude an’ call de dead soldier by he name, Lance Corporal Curtis Marshall. Dr. Daisley tellin’ de family he ‘erred’, Lance Corporal Marshall wasn’t murdered, was asthma.

‘Erred’?

He ‘erred’?

He is ah Jamaican now an’ he tryin’ to say he ‘heard’?

Since ah callin’ names, de fuss pathologist was Dr. Eastlyn McDonald-Burris. If dem names wrong doh blame me eh, is de papers ah get dem from.

Buh who is dese people? Why dey doin’ anyting important, anyplace?

Me eh no pathologist buh ah watch lil CSI once. I tort when yuh geh strangle it have ah lil bone in yuh neck dat does geh break? Stranglin’ an’ asthma does leave de same symptoms in death? So how did the Lance Corporal die? I eh hear de first pathologist change dem findings. Dat mean what, ah next autopsy? It go be two out ah three dat decide?

How hard it is tuh imagine de position de Marshall family in? Dey say dey did protest because de army was coverin’ up ah murder when it announce it was asthma de first time an’ not murder like de first autopsy say afterwards. Now de same people who say ‘murder’, comin’ back an’ say dey ‘erred’? I expect major tire bunnin’ an’ impassible streets when de family recover from de shock of dealin’ wid people who might mix up body parts wid ah hole in de grong.

Lord ah cyar believe dis nah.

Tuh me it feed into de perception dat incompetence and corruption rampant in de country.

An’ tuh tink when dem Guyanese want expert pathologist, is T&T dey does turn to.

Tuh de family of Lance Corporal Curtis Marshall, ah offer mih deepest sympathies. First fuh allyuh loss, secondly on havin’ tuh deal wid people who I now suspect have called udder autopsies wrong before. Tuh be honest, ah tort allyuh was dotish when allyuh bun dem tires. Ah was wonderin’ if dat wasn’t too soon. Wid dis latest news eef ah see smoke in de distance ah eh go have tuh wonder way it comin’ from or why.

Ah cyar done dis week widout torkin’ about de makin’ of ah president. Max gorn just now an’ de posturin’ start. At least de papers doin’ de posturin’. Any ah dem ‘prospective candidates’ on any short list someplace?

Wade Mark, de speaker ah de House? I remember he from when Kamla an’ dem was in opposition an’ he was a senator. Lord, he? Buh as speaker he change. Ah go come back tuh dat just now.

Karl Hudson-Phillips? Leh mih toss out some names tied tuh he when he was de AG: Angela Davis, Dick Gregory, William Kunstler, Joseph Skerritt, Gale Benson. Michael de Freitas or Michael X or Abdul Malik, all de same person. Den it had de Black House.

Kenneth Lalla? He is one ah dem Trinis who does bleed Trini colors because ah dey long service tuh de country. Like Karl buh widout some ah de excitement Karl had wid dem names ah toss out.

Chief Justice Ivor Archie? Dat eh happenin’. He just geh de position ah chief justice so ah sure he go prefer tuh stay dey an’ leave he mark as ah reformer. Like every damn ting dat de English back in 1962, tell T&T, ‘here, dis is yours, run it yuhself now’, de judiciary need plenty wuk tuh reform it.

Former head of BPTT Robert Riley
 an’ Political analyst Dr Hamid Ghany? Me eh know who dem is nah.

Ah guess de country eh ready fuh no woman in dat job. Eef I was on de committee pickin’, Karl an’ Lalla out. Dem too ole. I eh want tuh be back tuh pick someday else in less dan 5 years. Not when Max geh two terms.

Buh leh we dig into dis position of president. Exactly what dis person does have tuh do when dey wake up in de mornin’? De onlyest time I does even remember it have ah president is after Carnival when ah see pictures ah Max an’ he wife jumpin’ up in ah band wid one set ah security jumpin’ wid dem. Yuh could tell all ah dem tuhgedder as where Max jump, he security does jump too. All ah dem does stand out in de crowd. De udder times ah does remember it have ah president is when parliament open an’ he read ah speech about how Trinis need tuh come tuhgedder more. Or, when ah hear dat ah bill dat geh parse years ago finally geh sign by de president so it now law. Or, when Kamla say, ‘Max? Here, sign dis’. Okay, ah doh hear dat larse one buh ah bet dat is what she does tell he. Ah sure he does ask she what it is he signin’, an’ ah sure she does tell him not tuh study all dat, just sign. Dat eh what happen wid Section 34?

Eef de president is ah figure-head an’ as head ah de armed forces, cyar even start ah war wid Jamaica when dey beat T&T in anyting, den ah tinkin’ ah have de perfect candidate. Remember what ah say about Wade Mark when he was in Parliament? He was, ‘very animated’? Buh he cool dong once he make speaker? Dat kind ah transition appealin’ tuh mih no tail.

It have ah next factor doh. De process tuh pick de president, at least in dis rongs mean dat whoever geh pick go get call ah stooge of de govahment. Jack done call Max dat because Max dared tuh question Kamla. But de govahment Jack was torkin’ about was de PNM. So why not openly pick somebody who not de stooge of any govahment but who is de govahment as some tink.

Fuh all dem irrefutable reasons, here is my pick. An’ yuh see ah lay out reasons tuh back it up.

I say make Jack Warner president.

Ah go leave now so yuh could go orf tuh dreamland an’ tink ah all dem benefits.

Fuh me? No more steupsin’, less at least.