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Like de man right oui

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September 5, 2018 by Fensic

Let mih set expectation one time: Dis not even close tuh being about Rowley speech de udder night. Just in case nah. So wid de adjustable bar set, let mih begin.

It start orf wid me tryin not tuh do de untinkable an agree wid mih pardnah just so. Not when dat not in mih nature or when is orn someting dat not only super sensitive buh could cause some people blood tuh boil. Not mines doh.

So when he suggest like Triniland gorn all American, dat irascible gut instinct kick in. Buh only fuh ah nanosecond as mih memory take over an ah was back in time tinkin Shindig Boots.

Yes, Shindig Boots.

Was mih college days, 6th form. Whatever de year, buddin young capitalists from secondary schools across de country was in Woodford Square tuh show orf tuh each udder an de public dey unique business ideas. Yes, Junior Achievement was alive an I was part ah de showin orf. In ah way we was de model fuh de Mall ah de people.

In de midst ah dat was females wearin des white mid-calf boots.

Shindig Boots.

Never mind dem boots was winter wear in places dat had dat season.

Just tinkin ah dem boots mean ah was orf tuh ah bard start eef mih goal was tuh disprove mih pardnah.

Frosty only make tings wuss.

What Trini doh remember singin about Frosty?I too cut mih Christmas-carol-teet singin about de antics of ah snowman. Like udders ah was real happy at de start ah de song an so heart-broken by de time he start meltin. Yes, intellectually ah did know what ah snowman was, so too winter. Besides, ah could put mih hand in de freezer fuh like five seconds or, until mih mudder start bawlin at mih fuh lettin de cold air out de fridge. Guess which did come first.

Boots an snow. What more American dan dat in de tropics?

How about being ah Freshwater Yankee?

Miss somebody from de block den see dem after two weeks an yuh know way dey supposedly went as soon as dey open dey mout. Dey draggin out words yuh never hear dem say before in ah accent yuh only know from TV. No more,“aye man wha goin orn”, is “hhhhhiiiiiinstead.
Taxi an sweet drink? Dem gorn. Is now caaab an sooooda. Party? What is dat? Dey only know about parrdy. Admit it, dey had you spellbong too.

Ah put mih recollections orn pause wonderin eef mih pardnah right. Trinis, at least de ones back den, couldn’t get enough Americanisms or what?

Buh ah wasn’t ready tuh say dat out loud. Not widout lookin at current times.

Before ah go dey ah have tuh make mih own admission.

I too had mih moments when ah went home. In my case I wasn’t fakin, is fuhget ah fuhget tuh convert Yankee words back tuh Trinispeak at Piarco. Take de time ah needed tuh pee real bard in dis paardy party. Ah ask de host which part dey bartroom was not studyin de strange look ah get. Dat was how close de pee was tuh comin. Dat change when ah open de door dey point mih to, unzippin in preparation as ah went.

Tork about red face! Steups. An ah still had tuh go back out an face dem. Ah mumble someting about usin de rong word as ah rush tuh de next door dey point at.

So quick, what about dese days?

Well torkin about wantin tuh go pee bring Tim Gopeesingh straight tuh mind.

Yes de former minister ah education.

He an he “ethnic cleansin” statement in 2009. Dat recent ent?

He wasn’t referrin tuh people gettin exterminated because ah race, color, creed or religion doh. Dem tings alien tuh T&T. Yet dat is de term he use tuh allege Indian doctors was gettin pushed out ah de health care system in POSGH.

Fuh ah moment ah tort ah had mih pardnah eef ah use twisted logic. Den ah realize not only cultural tings T&T importin buh American values an buzz words.

How long now youthman does wear dey pants like dat? Where dat style from wid no sign ah it slackin orf. Years ago, me an mih chirren used tuh clash over it, just like I used tuh clash wid mih parents back home over mih scruntin afro. It could barely braid yet dey was always quarrellin about badjohn dis an badjohn dat an not in dey house.

What rong wid Trini money? How come big ticket items doh seem tuh get quoted in TT dollars? Is like doin so does devalue de item one time. Dollarization ahead?

Ah cyar get more recent dan dis “fake news” shit. What dat mean in Trinbago?

Is it news dat doh make people look good or news dat not true?

Before ah could answer mih own question mih pardnah interrupt mih. He say he give up.

Mih eyebrows raise.

He say he listenin tuh dis Trini radio station an hear dem torkin about gerrymanderin. American politics was mih first tort.

Noooo de man tell mih . . . Trinidad!

He cyatch me good.

Dotish me tort dat word was Yankee tuh de sinew. Ah mean when is de larse time UNC or PNM try an redraw electoral areas in T&T?

Ah back back tuh get de big picture dis revelation was revealin: Times an symbols change buh core beliefs still solid.

Yet any deep review about what start all dis not possible. Ah limited tuh de surface tings ah tink ah know about. Some ah dem, like singin bout snow at Christmas, mightn’t be as common as before — Trini experiences replace dat crap. However, ah understand Trinis does celebrate Halloween an what I does call “turkey day”, Tanksgivin nah. An please, somebody tell mih de man lyin about Trinis callin part ah de year, “summer”.

It have more of course. Like dis growin movement tuh decriminalize small amounts ah weed. I tink dat make sense because runnin man dong when he have two gram ah grass doh make sense given what else goin orn.

Legalization? Dat go happen de same day yuh could import adult sex toys. Dat right dey say Triniland not America. Alldoh it have places in de US dat eh backwards in joke nah.

Ah cyar end widout someting else from mih pardnah.

Fuh Christmas, import real snow or plenty snow-makin machines he proposin.

I tink is ah great idea buh not fuh he cynical reason. How many Trini curious about de white stuff? It better dan dey stickin dey hand in de freezer. Besides, de sun go dictate how long itf go larse. It would be de ultimate ah white Christmas eef dey snow get spread in your yard.

Bacchanal fuh so.

Middle-aged women diggin in dey closet askin who see dey Shindig Boots from de 1970s.

Look at dem chirren makin dey own Frosty de snowman an cryin cause he meltin before dey could finish sing de song.

Wait.

What else some ah dem singin?

. . .“Oh Say Can You See  . . .”?

It cyar be.

Happy political independence T&T.

 


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