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Random torts dis January 2018

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January 13, 2018 by Fensic

De cold outside freezin mih brain so only random torts.

Madness? Den I out . . .

Dat is it.

Ah done.

No more.

Not anudder time.

Tanks tuh Thalia Francis-Brooks ah ask de question fuh de larse time. No more will I see or hear someting in de news an inside no more dan ah day or two, ask mihself what de arse so an so was tinkin when dey do or say what ah hear dey do or say.

Tanks too tuh mih pardnah fuh offerin ah slightly different answer tuh de question buh ah still have tuh abide by de official definition ah madness.

Thalia, fuh who eh know an ah supposin care tuh know, is de supposed lawyer who call dis supposed press conference tuh make dis supposed announcement about de supposed status ah Dillian Johnson, . . . all tuhgedder now . . . she supposed client.

Mih pardnah speculate maybe she eh hear about de Internet when she offer up dat dis Dillian character apply for, an get, asylum in de UK. It would be in record time. Ah simple check online usin de magical Internet suggest de process could take bout six months. How long was Dillian in England by de time he get dis approval she announce? Like two weeks.

Dillian who de Trinidad Express call ah “convicted fraudster”, seems tuh be ah character fuh who spinnin webs ah deceit is duck-soup. Widout goin into he colorful backgrong, all I go say is I wonder eef he shootin happen how he claim.

Thalia?

Yuh get cyatch in one ah Dillian web or what? Not lawyer-like in de least. All de shame is orn you fuh being gullible. Be glad dis happen in January. People only go remember you at de end ah de year when de highlights or, lowlights ah 2018 get reviewed.

As fuh me, no more will de official definition ah madness apply. It have enough heads vyin fuh dat crong given how many times ah used tuh ask dat question ah just stop askin.

An tuh mih mih pardnah? Nice try.

Ah new ferry? Ah cyar sleep . . .

Ever since de prime minister announce ah new ferry comin just now an ‘bagonians go be happy, ah havin trouble sleepin. Ah only tossin an turnin.

Ah wish ah could say mih insomnia is because ah giddy wid happiness buh ah cyant. Is because ah real nervous. Given de recent history of attempts at gettin ah ferry, ah keep wincin expectin de next shoe tuh drop. After gettin bite so much times ah more dan shy now. Ah so want mih island bredderen an sistren tuh not have tuh tink de current situation normal.

Ah tort de shoe did drop when ah read de Newsday article about de ferry. However, when de govahment say de article not true, ah feel better. First ah had tuh chastise mihself fuh being so ready tuh accept bard news.

Relief eh larse long. Newsday went an double dong orn de story in response. Now me eh know what tuh tink. Ah cyar sleep even more.

Is $17M US de govahment say de boat costin an it brand new tuh boot. Given de way govahments have spent de people’s money orn various boats, how tuh judge eef seventeen million US is too much, not enough or just right?

What does de price include?

All ah want is dis boat tuh reach quick an any shoe dat lookin tuh fall, fall. Ah tinkin when dat happen, ah go know which side ah me was right an den ah go just sleep orn dat side.

CONCACAF Women’s U-20 Championships? No pressure, right coach . . .

Ah tink ah been followin de Under-20 Women Soca Warriors preparations fuh de upcomin championships close enough. Out ah de eight teams in de tournament tree goin orn tuh de World Cup.

Hopin tuh be one of de trio go be Haiti, Costa Rica, Canada an T&T in one group; in de udder go be de USA, Mexico, Jamaica an Nicaragua. Ah expect de competition go be stiff wid de stronger teams showin deyself early. De Lady Warriors go have tuh dig real deep cause realistically only Jamaica an possible Haiti at de same level as dem. Still, what Trini doh want dem tuh succeed?

De answer tuh dat is part ah de challenge. Since hardly anybody go say dey not rootin fuh de team, de trials an tribulations of preparin de players fuh de tournament go be fuhgotten. But should it? De udder seven teams also been preparin as hard or even harder. Will it not be de ones who better prepared dat go move orn?

De T&T players go be under tremendous pressure which should be expected given de stage dey orn. Dey go eidder rise or fall under dat pressure.

Dat is why I was surprised tuh read de coach pronouncin dat de team could bring de country tuhgedder.

Say what?

Unite Trinidad an Tobago like de men’s team did makin it tuh Germany in 2006? Was he suggestin dat tuh management when tryin, yet failin, tuh get quality warm-up matches?

While I understand what he tryin tuh do times have changed. It unfair tuh compare de lead up tuh de World Cup in 2006 tuh de lead up tuh dis one. He cyar just dump all dat pressure orn de dis team. It too much.

Dat said: Go Women Soca Warriors!

Leave allyuh heart out on de field an nobody rootin fuh allyuh could fault allyuh. Start wid Haiti. Tell dem allyuh sorry fuh dey plights back home den kick dey baxide back tuh Haiti.

Leave unitin T&T tuh dem who have far more resources yet cyar manage yet.

Askin tuh tief ah small wine? Good luck wid dat . . .

Scene: Someplace, anyplace in Triniland Carnival Monday or Tuesday. Music truck blastin, half . . . no tree-quarter nekkid women all over de place, gyratin.

Male masquerader attempts to whisper into de ear ah one such woman: “Excuse mih miss”.

De music loud, de sounds too sweet for she tuh hear. She keep gyratin. He tap she orn ah unclothed shoulder: “Excuse mih ma’am”.

Startled at de unsolicited touch, she scream. It pierce de volume comin from de truck. Tree poleece officers hear she, two respond. De tird doesn’t as ah woman, back tuh him, is bent from de waist. Her almost unclothed bumsie rotates against his pelvic area as if orn ball bearings. He face eh showin no emotion, he eyes closed.

De woman touched orn she shoulder screams again an points to de man. He eyes open wide wide. De officers grab him an drag him away.

“Buh officer,” he start, “Ent allyuh self say tuh ask before tiefin ah small wine? She eh hear so ah touch she orn she shoulder tuh get she attention.”

De truck blasts it horn just as he start tuh explain.

As eef awakenin from a dream, de tird officer open he eye. De women in front ah him straighten up, laughs an gyrates away.


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