Ah give up countin de number ah times ah try tuh start dis. No matter how far ah reach, ah does end up flashin back tuh someting de author ah East of Flatbush North of Love say in dat piece ah soul-searchin literature she write. Fuh who eh know, it is ah ah ethnographic memoir.

By de way, dat is ah book ah gettin blasted vex more Trini eh read yet, eh. We jammin still, is not ah excuse no more.

Ah could go back an re-read de passage in question buh ah not goin an do dat. Ah prefer tuh stick wid de imagery from de one time ah read dem words. Dey rawness an de emotion I sense she feel is de same rawness an emotion I feelin now an I eh want no second opinion cloud dat sore.

Anyway, ah holdin orn tuh dat tort tight as ah try yet again tuh start what I eh manage tuh finish so far.

I doh know how yet buh everyting go tie tugedder else ah go be wastin mih time orn dis. Ah just doh want tuh tork, yet again, about de macajuel call Crime dat arong de neck ah Trinbago. It had ah relative call Operation Anaconda once buh dis snake not going any place; not wid de kind ah efforts tuh remove it so far. Maybe next week ah might be up tuh peltin some more lash at what is ah dead horse.

Until den?

Tink history.

Trinidad an Tobago history.

Make dat history recent.

By dat ah mean since independence. Dat date is what schoolboys who tink dey is badjohn, should have tuh memorize by de way, preferably in some kinda jail. Buh let mih stay focused.

Ah tempted tuh shorten de timeframe from independence day buh dat go be givin away de answer an ah cyar do dat when I eh even ask de question yet.

So de year is . . . or was — whichever more right —1981.

De month?

March.

Ah want tuh believe ah done provide more dan enough information tuh de majority ah Trinis orn what ah go eventually ask buh ah both fraid an sad.

Mih fear is de percentage ah de population dat wasn’t born by dat date — far less tuh know deyself — mightn’t have ah clue what ah beatin arong de bush tuh get to. Not only dat, buh me eh know how much Trini history dem schools does still teach. Especially since school chirren doh have tuh compare an contrast de effects orn de English Empire ah fellas like Sir Frances Drake an Sir Walter Raleigh.

Compare an contrast de uselessness of ah Trini being able tuh do dat tuh de profoundness of dey inability tuh answer de question I eh ask yet.

While dat larse part touch orn mih sorrow, de real sadness is from what mih pardnah tell mih an what ah Trini-side Trini confirm.

Mih pardnah say he was listenin tuh ah Trini tork show orn de 29^th. De topic was de lack ah acknowledgement, appreciation an interest in what March 29^th represent in Triniland history. Everybody was sorrowful or vex. Callers was tryin tuh explain how young dey was in 1981 so dey couldn’t know de answer.

Tuh dat I steups. Which part I was when dem English fellas was sword-fightin? Yet, I had tuh know about dem.

De Trini-side Trini step thru March 29^th an confirm dat yes, it eh had no acknowledgement ah dat date in de news. Not even de PNM eh say nuttin, from what ah understand. I went an check dey website. It look frozen in time.

In de end, I have ah statement not ah question.

Apparently Trinidad an Tobago stop acknowledgin it first Prime Minister since he dead. Yes, March 29^th 1981 is when Dr. Eric Williams died.

Me eh suggestin all Trinis should be in love wid de man nah, buh he an de udder leaders at de time was visionaries. Yuh could argue about what dey was seein buh dat is ah different subject.

I believe Britain couldn’t wait tuh dump all dem colonies even doh it did know dey needed guidance in how tuh manage dey own affairs, visionaries aside. Mih proof continue tuh be de importance of not being “disrespected”; at least as demanded by people wid varyin degrees of influence, eef not perceived power, in Triniland.

Isn’t dat exactly what de current members ah de party Williams form, doin tuh he memory, eef is true March 29 parse wid no acknowledgment by dem ah de significance ah dat date?

Now is when ah go rope een what Dr. Brown write in she lament about how Trinidad change. Ah focusin orn how she describe de grave ah Aldwyn Roberts inside what, five or six years ah he death? Fuh anybody scratchin dey head — Lord Kitchener nah.

Discarded garbage. Rubbish.

Dat more dan symbolic.

It is how anyting or anyone of no benefit does get treated now. Especially among some who wasn’t born yet by 1981. An we seein how dat is de case even eef yuh livin. Ah powerful minority ah de “some” who born post-1981 see who dey disagree wid as rubbish so dey “have tuh dead”.

Dr. Brown touch orn udder aspects ah Trini life dat different buh she eh dwell orn dem. I suspect Trinis would take dem days over de times dey forced tuh dwell in now.

Before anybody, includin me, start hailin mih memory of recent Trini historical events, let mih explain someting.

For years an years I used what I tort was ah foolproof way tuh remember Dr. Williams death.

In dat same 1981 an dat same March month, ah next event happen: De president ah de United States, Ronald Reagan, get shoot. Ah event like dat is news fuh weeks, months, even years. Orn dat same day is when I learn Williams dead. Reagan get shoot de 30^th doh. Since den, dem two events tie date-wise in my mind. Me eh know how many people I tell dem two events happen de same day. Is when mih pardnah mention de radio show I realize different. Nah ah lyin; was after dat, when ah went checkin fuh more info about both events dat ah say, “buh wait nah”.

All dese years I believin Reagan nearly gettin kill is what overshadow de death of ah Caribbean visionary.

Every year in March, all dem stories about Reagan gettin shot would be mih alarm clock tuh remember when Dr. Williams died. All dese years I always ah day late an probably ah dollar short too, not because of effort doh.

No worries.

Ah just have to recalibrate. It would be nice eef it had ah line ah udders ownin up an pledgin tuh do de same ting fuh whatever reason. Buh dat is awright, I good by mihself. Mih first test go be March 29^th 2017.

Wait.

Dat date dead an gorn. Make it March 29^th 2018. Ah go be ready tuh condemn all who fuhget.