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Where de spin-doctor shovel?

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February 11, 2017 by Fensic

Ah was sittin dong here marooned, watchin dis snow only pilin up like it eh plan tuh stop fallin when: “Pop! . . . Pop!”. Is two new ting dat couldn’t be more apart, in mih head yes.

De first ting had mih realizin why Europeans would ah come here an pay trinkets fuh de place — was winter time. None ah de udder potential buyers, all from where it warm, leavin dat tuh come here an bargain in any snow. Dey would postpone it till summer. Buh when summer reach, dey would postpone it again — it too nice outside. Soon de idea would be like ah New Year’s resolution.

Watchin snow fall does bring out mih deep torts

De second ting take lil long tuh build before it pop good.

I was always sure de Public Transport Service Cooperation or PTSC tuh Trinilanders, was de best run public service in de country. Yes people does have tuh real wait fuh dey bus every now an den buh when de bus finally reach, it have Wi-Fi. Dat important dese days cause which Trini want tuh miss morbid pictures of de latest murder victim?

I eh even blink when ah hear de PTSC never make ah profit in all it born days, which, by de way is 52 years worth ah days.

I eh blink because de PTSC is de business-world equivalent of ah lorse leader. It job is tuh get people where dey have tuh be eidder tuh make money or spend it. Trips home fuh badin eatin an sleepin up tuh de rider. Anyway, spendin money mean taxes fuh de govahment. Dem taxes should cover most, eef not all of what de PTSC does spend tuh move passengers.

Provided de company eh really gettin run like udder ones.

Ah should ah never add dat disclaimer, especially before dat video about de PTSC.

It cyar service it current passengers?

Almost only 200 buses when it need bout 350 an someting?

Over 25 different kind ah bus in de fleet?

Customer service dat sucks? Okay so dat word eh get used buh is now really de time fuh political correctness?

Fuhget snow, is while ah dey hyperventilatin from dis news dat de second pop happen:

I have tuh become de unofficial spin-doctor fuh Trinidad an Tobago. Wid so many tings like dey not wukkin, some kind ah doctor needed. At least ah good spin-doctor could make tings seem better dan dey really is.

Ah couldn’t tell mih pardnah what ah was testin cause he hear, “spin” an “doctor,” an he tinkin, “mud” an “top.” Instead, ah suggest all de tings we hearin of late about what happenin in T&T mean de country eh fraid tuh air it dutty bloomers no more as it gettin ready fuh all de changes needed tuh reach it potential.

Ah ask him eef he agree. De man say yes so quick he cyatch orf guard. He even add he own alternative facts tuh mih spin.

Tuh channel Bunji, “ah ready!”

Anybody sayin de govahment tink it smart havin Al Wari moan an groan bout how de TTPS eh structured right tuh attack crime when in fact, during Mannin last stint, ah professor name Mastrofski, get millions fuh ah project tuh restructure de same TTPS?

As spin-doctor, I go point out dat most times it does take more dan one try tuh fix someting; especially in Triniland. Nah, ah better leave dat larse part out. Ah go ask instead fuh ah show ah hands from all who could do someting hard in one try.

Ah spin-doctor have tuh be ready fuh de Mark Bassant-types out dey too. Somebody like he might jump in wid:

“Second attempt? Wasn’t Gibbs an Ewatski attackin de same problem wid de 21st Century poleecin initiative even after Mastroski fail? Since dis eh really no second try, de problem deeper dan de TTPS, ent?”

“Mark, Mark,” ah go answer, shakin mih head sadly in case de reporter eh name Mark. “Which part you hear me say it go only take two tries tuh fix de TTPS? It might take six, maybe more. After all, dis is Triniland.”

Nah, ah go leave orf dat larse sentence. Instead, ah go point out de Brian Lara stadium dat still tryin tuh reach an de Tamana InTech Park, Wallerfield dat like it done reach.

What eef dis reporter have ah next follow up? Like, what go de govahment do eef restructurin de TTPS eh done by election, de PNM geh beat an de new govahment say it not ditchin de project.

He cyar be dat dotish tuh ask someting like dat . . . would he? Ah go be ready tuh spin just in case:

“Dis govahment eh plannin tuh lose any future election. Buh eef it did lose de next one, it go fully support dat new govahment if it plan tuh continue de TTPS reform. If it don’t we go pong it in Parliament. We doh care which party get credit when is de country benefittin.”

Oh yes, ah so ready fuh de road. More test runs just in case doh.

What about Rowley supposedly tellin criminals tuh stop being criminals so de country could be safe again?

Simple. He eh want no more people victimized even killed — criminals included. Eef dey eh listen tuh he den no more chance fuh dem; it go be de dorgs ah war unleashed.

I go be ready eef some dotish reporter ask why Rowley cyar say, “do it” as in . . . “Geezanages Kamla, allyuh just agree wid we side orn FATCA nah. Do it!”

“De Prime Minister,” ah go start answerin quick quick, “de PM so believe in de Westminster system he lettin its adversarial nature play itself out. What is best fuh de nation does come when we have healthy exchanges wid de opposition.”

Buh what eef ah spin too quick? What eef ah see de reporter shake she head, stifle ah steups an say I eh let she finish she question? What eef she say what she really wanted tuh know was why Rowley does say, “do-eat”, as in . . . “Geezanages Kamla, allyuh just agree wid we side orn FATCA. Do-eat nah?”

Eef only ah did wait ah would ah hit dat dumb question fuh six wid:

“De Prime Minister not like some Trinidadians” — as opposed tuh Tobagonians — “who cyar wait tuh reach somebody else country tuh start torkin like dey was born an bred dey. Despite livin in Trinidad, Dr. Rowley has no plan tuh tork like he navel string bury dong Digo. Once ah ‘bago boy, always ah ‘bago boy wid he.”

I go be in trouble. Ah spin-doctor need de public trust real bard. Wid mines lorse ah might have tuh fire mihself.

Who go explain why T&T slippin dong de Global Perception Corruption Index, like it is ah greasy pole, an why no govahment does ever act like it care? Maybe ah could . . .

Wait. De snow done fall or what?

“Anybody see mih shovel?”


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