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Nuttin eh funny no place yet?

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January 14, 2017 by Fensic

Just because dis week ah touchin orn ah topic from beyond de shores ah Triniland dat ah first hear about larse year, doh mean it eh have nuttin goin orn in T&T since 2017 reach. Too many bangs start orf de Trini new year fuh dat tuh be true. Is just none ah dem stories eh funny. Not so wid ah story about plastic rice, wait an see.

Even doh ah body fall wid one ah de bangs, Trinilanders was relieved eef not dong right rejoicin.

Wid dat one bang de coachin farce involvin de Soca Warriors ended when de Belgian coach, ups an take in front before in front take he. He decide he done show he cyar deliver so why waste time waitin fuh March tuh get fired. Maybe de TTFA was lookin tuh give him ah chance tuh use T&T tuh upgrade he resume in lieu ah salary fuh de month he was in Triniland. De dong side is anudder slap tuh de Soca Warriors regional standings. Ah cyar wait fuh Tobago tuh break away an challenge Trinidad fuh football braggin rights.

De regular bangs most Trinis in hot spots know, continuin almost non-stop. In de case of ah double murder dis week, de media was so bazodee one outlet say it happen in Laventille an ah next outlet sayin nah, dat address dong Digo. All doh dey now orn de same page, I believe de difference ah opinion is because journalism is ah next ting, like roadside vendin, Trinis leavin tuh non-Trinis. Ages ago, mih mudder used tuh take we tuh visit family. Larse year ah reporter call dat place Gon-zales. It was mih first clue Trinis not into reportin no more.

R.I.P. Gon-zal-es.

Besides all de different kinds ah killin, Petrotrin pop up, promisin tuh cause endless heartburn later. Is no way dat state company go reach de kind ah efficiency it need tuh lower it operatin costs widout layorfs. Good luck wid dat even eef de company get sell first. Venezuela should provide insight into what ah company-wide shut dong go cause.

In de meantime, I go wait till somebody mention Animal Farm so ah could ask why dem union members like tuh call one anudder comrades an does wear ah cross between shirt jack an Nehru Jacket.

More serious ting done hit T&T fuh 2017, an continuin. Dis effort be de opposition tuh keep it legal fuh hard back man wid froth in de pee tuh engage in legalized child molestation under de guise ah religious freedom, is one.

Ah article in ah next medium ask eef dat was sparin de rod an rapin de chile.

Eef de opposition doh agree tuh amend de marriage age law, I would advise de govahment tuh call ah snap election. Not tuh end up like Mannin, buh tuh get de population tuh show how fed-up it is wid de opposition.

De question doh is would Trinis ever get fed-up wid ah opposition, any opposition, opposin just fuh de sake ah opposin. Since hypocrisy abounds, ah suspect is only people who doh have cocoa in de sun dat does be bawlin about puttin T&T first.

Fuhget any snap election den.

It would be nice eef what look like ah (re)new(ed) interest in women’s safety could unite Trinis tuhgedder buh I eh bettin orn dat; not wid dis cocoa an sun ting. Still, ah raisin one aspect ah it dat have mih betwixt an between.

Before Shannon Banfield mudder raise de alarm about she missin daughter, I used tuh notice dem lil blurb in de papers whenever somebody went missin. Because ah what end up happenin tuh Shannon, ah change mih interest in dem appeals tuh de public fuh help. I doh like what ah seein. Yes, I does be glad when de update is dat de person not missin no more. What ah doh like is de regularity wid which it turnin out dey mightn’t ah been missin in de first place. Someting eh rong? Is all dese dysfunctional families it have so in de place wid dese teenagers runnin wild?

Too many harden, tink-she-is-ah-big-woman-buh-is-just-ah-clueless-chile-in-ah-school-uniform, fallin out wid dey parents an not goin home because dey vex. Dat cyar be ah good reason fuh de country tuh hold it collective breath only fuh de chile tuh turn up an she parents issue ah terse, ‘tanks Triniland, we good again.’ Me eh know de solution buh it just doh seem possible tuh sustain de level of national concern de initial poleece advisory demands.

In ah tragic instance was ah schoolboy who went missin. Months after he turn up, he get shot . . . or was it beaten tuh death? Ah tink people beat he tuh death yes, tryin tuh rob somebody. De public did never know de depth ah de problems he parents was havin wid he.‘Tanks Triniland, we good again,’ wasn’t true.

Still, girls far more vulnerable. Tragically so.

Ah lookin fuh “astute leadership” orn dis murder case too.

While ah wait ah orf tuh we cousins in Jamaica fuh ah lil levity. Dey like tuh criticize Trinilanders so I goin an do some ROFLMAO at dey expense.

Dey too dotish. Dem an dey plastic rice. Yes, plastic rice.

De first story I see was mid December.

Wait . . . what happenin here?

Now I ready tuh laugh ah cyar laugh? Nah. Ah suppose tuh be rollin an laughin mih baxide orf at dem.

Steups yes.

It not even close tuh de story years ago about dutty rice gettin dumped orn T&T. At least dat rice yuh could eat.

Dis story have tuh be funny! Look who it happen to!

Plastic rice? As preposterous as de concept is why de heck it not funny?

Ah wonder eef ah cyar get enjoyment out of ah story drippin wid sad humor because ah overtinkin dis whole ting?

Why ah cyar stay in de moment an fuhget dem de next steps? Steups.

What de sellers ah dis plastic rice tink would happen once people take de rice home tuh cook an feed dey family? Dey not go wonder why it cyar done cook; why dey have tuh chew it so long? When dey supposed tuh swallow it, de rice ah meanin eh. Eef it like chewin gum den dey cyar swallow it because it go wrap arong dey naval string an dey go dead. Ah wonder what does happen when yuh put jerk chicken orn top ah plastic rice? It could suck up gravy?

De few Mr. Chin Jamaica have, know de rice fake?

De Jamaican sistren ah mudders eh storm all dem Chin grocery store demandin answers? Ah mean is not like it eh dem who does be by Chin week after week doin ah lil trus here, ah lil trus dey tryin tuh make ends meet. Now dey have tuh worry about dey pickney an plastic rice arong dey navel string too?

Ah former govahment minister have she own story.

Ah did really expect tuh be havin ah good laugh but dis not funny at all.

Dat mean what, it eh have nuttin funny no place?

It go be ah tough year.


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