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Vote fuh mih ah not lyin dis rongs

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November 5, 2016 by Fensic

Tuhday better be Saturday de 5th an tomorrow, Sunday de 6th. After dat better come Monday the 7th . . . an we better be in November of de year 2016.

Nobody eh hidin ready tuh jump out an say “boo”? Dat mean only one ting:

Two more days an ah few hours an dis latest presidential election season done! Ah doh have tuh torture none ah mih poor senses wid no more ah what was parsin fuh politickin in dis election! Yes, yes . . . oh yes!

Whew!

Every four years is de same ting. De rest ah de world, or ah good chunk of it, glancin over at de US, eyes bulgin in wonder at de insanity of it all. Ah cyar offer reassurance because sometimes I does wonder mihself. Besides, wid my jaded view, it mightn’t be ah good idea tuh have me explain nuttin tuh nobody out dey. Still, how de US does pick it next leader is ah interestin process tuh say de least.

Every four years each side does say de same ting: Dis is de definin election an eef yuh eh vote [fill in yuh party name] an de [fill in de udder party name, use de plural] win it go mean de end ah de US as ah super power. It go be all your fault. Dem [fill in de udder party name again, still plural] is pure evil.

What logic.

But American elections not about logic; just like no udder country election is about logic. Someting special about de American one make it unique.

One reason why is because once it have ah winner, especially eef is de udder party, de outgoin president does wish de replacement all de best. De faithful ah both parties could be rollin arong orn de grong tryin tuh kill one anudder, buh at dat highest level . . . country first. All dat at de highest levels doh so nobody peepin does see. Who knows eef dat go be true after dis rongs buh no country better misread de tealeaves an decide tuh, “try ah ting”.

Ah next reason fuh de category by itself is because ah what people all over de world does see.

I eh torkin about how worked up, how emotionally involved in de process American voters does get as de same ting does happen in udder countries. Buh electin ah actor? Makin ah peanut farmer de leader ah de free world? Dem udder countries cyar understand dat. Dey askin eef now ah man who does move in high circles could convince enough workin people he orn dey side an become de leader ah de free world. We done know he go have tic-tacs in he mouth when he take de oath ah office buh what he go be grabbin? I go fraid tuh look.

Since ah done say ah jaded, ah free tuh add two tings ah tink does get miss in all de emotion of ah American presidential season

One is people does fuhget in de prior election dey candidate didn’t win an de world eh stop spinnin yet. Buh more important? Dey doh realize dey gettin played.

T&T politicians eh quite reach dat level of snake oil salesman or, saleswoman eef tings go good fuh Hillary Tuesday. Dat eh mean Kamla was ah slouch doh.

It sound simplistic tuh say is all about gettin life-long supporters tuh yuh cause buh it have ah level ah insidiousness tuh doin dat. People does tink dey reach ah opinion by deyself when it was scripted fuh dem tuh reach it. Dem kind ah people committed. Dat not news tuh political parties so I eh know why ah bodderin tuh mention it. Maybe because watchin supporters validate it is always interestin? It doh work fuh all voters as some ah we does stand we grong an say convince we yuh orn we side. We does be tuhgedder buh orn different sides.

Any candidate who come in my neighborhood or arong people like me should know not tuh say dey have hot sauce in dey pocket book. Dat statement mean bull pistle time. What happenin instead is people clappin while udders feel dey gettin patronized.

I tink ah see enough ah what I doh like in dis election. Ah get it from both sides.

De election makin sinners out ah people, or at least it sound like dey ready tuh sin. I hear dis one Christian person one time yellin at dey television sayin de person orn it lyin. Ah swear ah did feel someting cold runnin dong mih back under mih shirt. It wasn’t no bead ah sweat nah, was ah touch ah surprise mixed in wid slight fear.

Ah also had tuh remind somebody who did fuhget Obama election an how emotional dat was fuh everybody, especially rabid racists. Dis person was so wrapped in dis election dey was tinkin fire an brimstone eef Hillary geh bumped orf. De country would go in ah tailspin dey was mutterin.

Me eh know bout all dat. All ah know I read Obama get Secret Service protection earlier dan any udder candidate ever. Eef any kook did do he anyting, ah tailspin would ah be ice skatin compared tuh de dry-heaves dis country would ah experience as pissed orf people bun it dong. Knock orf Hillary an black folk go stand an watch white folk fight.

Let mih stop oui. Dat kind ah speculative bumpy road not fuh me.

Two tings not speculation doh. One is dat fuh every worked up person it have supportin one side, de udder side have it version. Plus both sides does tork about ah mysterious “dey” an “dem”. Is dem who push de FBI tuh do dat; dey tell Anthony Weiner tuh sext so dis could happen. Eef I was committed ah would ah know who my side “dey” was.

De eidder ting not speculation is dat Trinis, just like udder people in de world, interested in dis election. I eh meanin de diaspora buh dem who have de PP, PNM, UNC, MSJ, TOP plus NJAC an udders, tuh choose from.

Ah get questioned by some ah dem Trinis recently. Ah had mih reasons fuh not wantin to open up so ah tell dem I doh like eidder choices. Me eh tink dey was too happy wid dat cause ah wasn’t rah-rah-in fuh Hillary. Dey see Trump as ah racist, ah position most Afro Americans share.

Maybe being ah one-issue voter is de way tuh go. All yuh have tuh worry about is judgin how each side stand up against yuh most important issue.

Me?

Politicians usin de same words we does use buh only dem know what dey mean by dem; I want de book dey does use tuh translate.

It should have ah video game based orn dat concept. Call it someting like, “Vote fuh me, ah not lyin dis rongs”.

Two more days an dis rongs done.

No body better say “boo!” nah.


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