One word describe tings dis larse week – hoppin. Where tuh start, where? Well it have:

De nonsense wid de FATCA bill

Ah done say mih say orn dat. Even de latest wid de opposition walkin out eh go get mih tuh add nuttin, except say maybe one day one day congotay. I eh tief dat promise from from Rowley speech. It just so obvious dat people cyar keep puttin party before country widout congo goin tay at some point.

Kidnappin still?

Dem kidnappers eh cyatch ah vaps an snatch Ria just so, unless dey dotish. So ah squintin mih eye an fightin tuh believe all de people who in de news torkin bout how dey love she an want she back safe. Mih fear is dat wid all de information gettin release givin almost ah blow by blow account ah how de poleece doin an where dey is in cyatchin who have Ria, dem same people go panic wid deadly results. Dat said, ah want tuh be rong.

Whatever-it-is-dat-makin-dis-big-deal-wid-de-president.

Sometimes, (yawn), some tings just cyar get mih worked up no matter how agitated everybody arong mih is. Dat is de case,(yawn), wid dis story. Maybe is because I see de president as dis harmless person who disappoint mih when he did get mih worked up at he inauguration. I was waitin tuh see he use dem powers people didn’t know he had buh ah stop long time since ah see de powers dat he doh have. I go make ah toast tuh dat.

Abolish jury trials

Mih gut reaction tuh de chief justice makin dis proposal is tuh say he misguided. Not only dat, buh he typical for faced wid ah problem, de best he could come up wid is ah solution dat overboard. Tuh me, de result eh even addressin what cause de problem. Not only dat, buh what go be de checks an balances dat go prevent abuse? Too much power in de hands ah anybody, no matter how benevolent an well-inattention dey start out being, is not ah good idea. De good ting about dis idea is dat is T&T we torkin about an it would take years tuh abolish jury trials. De bard ting about dis idea is dat is T&T we torkin about an it would take years tuh abolish jury trials.

Once ah move parse all dat gut reaction, mih tort is tuh wonder what countries gorn dong dis road ahready an what is de result. Well, it have South Africa buh me eh know eef dat is any kind ah good example wid all de violent crime it have dong dey. Ah next good ting comin out what de chief justice say is de possibility of ah discussion; at least until someting else cyatch people attention. Next week go soon reach.

Roadblock or is it ah checkpoint?

Dis story take up way too much space in de newspapers. It should ah be about what happen when whoever, maybe ah Don in de makin, went an put up ah UN-style barrier/checkpoint orn ah public road. De onlyest picture it should ah have was where de illegal barrier was before de poleece mash it up. Instead, de article show yuh de checkpoint/barrier an went orn an orn about de poleece tryin tuh find who put it up. Why? Or at least why not do de lookin after de road get unblock? By de way, what happen wid de space bar in de writin ah dis article?

Sexual groomin?

I eh read de story good, so ah cyar comment on it beyond sayin it was about ah man who try an contact ah under-age lil girl. She mudder find out an lure de fool in. Once he take de bait, he get licks. Buh was de charge de poleece drop orn him dat cyatch mih eye. When ah hear it mih first tort was, buh wait; sexual groomin sound more like ah charge in ah country dat intent orn not waitin fuh de molester tuh do he dirty deed. Well done T&T. Now make de charge an case stick an let he make ah jail where he go find out how sexual groomin go apply tuh he an dis udder pervert. Dey go be Bubba’s babes. I eh go use dat udder ‘b’ word.

Wife geh murdered den de husband?

Hmmm, strange story. Man an he wife in dey house, de original story say. Somebody break in an stab de both ah dem up. She dead he in de hospital, paralyzed. Was it ah robbery? Anyway, he leave hospital an gorn back home. Ah month later he dey in de same house, window open. Somebody sneak in an stab he tuh death. De paper say was de killer dat come back an finish de job. Strange story indeed. Exactly what it mean when it say de original attack leave him paralyzed? Why he in de house by heself, windows open? Like he wasn’t frighten or what? Nobody I know say dey would ah go back in dat house.

It have more in de mortar den de pestle in dis story cause as written dis is ah strange strange case an fuh once de poleece not tuh blame.

Under 17 CFU: Failure tuh qualify

Ah might as well admit of all de tings ah done parse judgement orn, dis, yes dis is what ah really want tuh vent about.

How could T&T not be in de list ah best five Caribbean footballin countries at de under 17 men’s level? How about ah answer mih own question wid dis: When it keep preparin fuh tournaments like how it prepare fuh dis one an after failin tuh manage it own destiny, hopin somebody else misfortune go help de team. Ah tink when anybody look back at dis tournament or, eef dey was honest at de start, all dey had really was dey strong national pride makin dem hope de team go do good. In udder words, all de signs dat wasn’t goin an happen was dey. Is not like de signs change once de football did start buh nationalism an hope against hope, stay strong. In reality, who didn’t know dat before de larse game dey could ah look an see dat Bermuda was de bobolee yet only T&T struggle tuh beat it givin up two goals in de process? So how could T&T beat Jamaica? Still, dat was ah almost dotish question given dat T&T manage tuh score twice an make de score 2 – 2 wid dey cousins from up de road. Alas, dat was as good as it could get an dey lorse. Den was de dotish backdoor plea tuh de universe. Dat too fail since was every team fuh itself. Result? T&T not one ah de top under 17 football teams in de region. Sad ent?

Yes, de parse week was hoppin. Ah cyar do more dan mention tings in La Brea; Moonilal fuhgettin how good de PP was orn crime an how could ah leave out Machel Montano spreadin he wings more wid T&T goin along.

Dat is more dan enough tuh chew orn I tink.