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Mih Trini pardnah speaks—fuh heself!

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October 31, 2015 by Fensic

Is not me dis week but mih pardnah.

Why is now he want tuh tork? Ah strong point of view he insist.

Only now?

Well de Simmons an Ho saga only now reach de news.

Dat said, mY pARDNAH sPEAKS!

Another Point of View

Let me begin by making it clear that I am no ‘disrespecter’ of women or womanhood. My viewpoint is that heaven lies at the feet of women. Furthermore, coming from a family of primarily women and having been loved, guided and nurtured by them, I owe my very existence and limited accomplishments to them. Having witnessed the pains and pangs of childbirth that they endure, and enjoyed the gift of fatherhood that they bestowed upon me, I remain humbled, grateful and appreciative. I confess that I do not understand their logic at times but am nevertheless always considerate of their points of view. They have been an integral part of my life. My mother is my hero and in many respects I am the quintessential “mama’s boy.” To this day instinctively I still hold doors open for women, walk to their outside at the curb and leave the toilet seat down. I say all of this so that you may understand the anguish with which I express my opinion. Fact is, I love women, womanhood and all that being a woman represents.

The defendant is a twenty four year old, unmarried mother of two, her children being fathered by two different men. Not exactly a bastion of morality and at a very tender age also. Now don’t get me wrong, I do not stand in judgment of anyone because I am definitely not qualified. I understand that sex is a very splendored thing and sometimes when Cupid shoots his arrow it is very difficult to get out of the way. Furthermore, men can be charming and very persuasive when it comes to pursuing their sexual ambitions. They would fabricate the most convincing lies and excuses, and say and do all the right things just to get into a lady’s pants. However, a couple of things bother me. One does not go around having children for every smooth talker or Debonair Dan who comes along, especially in an era where so many different birth control products are available. Fact is, except for religious reasons, modern era women do not have children unless they want to do so. Having a child is a serious decision. Secondly, many young ladies who find themselves being single parents usually vouch that they will not have another child unless it is for their husband. Their plan is clearly to remedy the situation by being more discerning about future lovers. That is not to say that they won’t give someone who catches their fancy a play. It simply means that they would exercise some caution and perhaps insist on condoms or some type of protection being used. Again, love and sex are beautiful acts which ought not to be denied to anyone capable of exercising the act consensually.

So this lady finds herself getting some attention from a WI cricketer, someone with a modicum of celebrity. Perhaps he compliments her on her attractiveness as most men would when they meet a pretty faced or well shaped woman. Fact is that many men would also do so regardless of how the person actually looks as long as she is wearing a skirt or dress. To her he represents a ray of hope, a probable answer to her dreams. But, without no tangible sign of commitment from him she allows her self to be photographed nude, to be photographed during periods of intimacy and even takes it upon herself to send nude photos of herself to him when he is on tour, an accommodation that most married men may never get in their lifetime from their wives regardless of the situation. Again, I am still not too critical of her at this point for I know that with most men it is damn if you do and damn if you don’t. You can never be too sure what the audition should encompass or what it will take to get them to make the sacrifice or take the plunge. Underlying all of this, however, is the fact she is cognizant that he has a woman who already has one leg up on the competition being the mother of his child, but is hopeful that she can win his affections and literally take him away from the woman. Clearly she is in this to win and ignores the red flag. She is hell bent on taking the woman’s man. There has been no meeting of the minds. She is seeking a permanent relationship whilst the man is seeking a piece of ass. Serious miscommunication is taking place, but she likes her chances..

When reality hits home and she realizes that she is nothing more than another notch on his sexual belt, she suddenly finds religion in the form of morality and conscience. She decides to visit the man’s woman and confess the relationship. Whether she shows her the photos or not is not an issue. Could she be so naïve that she expected the man’s woman to jump for joy at the revelation? Certainly not! Let’s be clear. The purpose of her visit was pure vindictiveness, to muddy the man’s water and throw sand in his rice. She was hurt. Fact is she could not handle the tabanca ( a crucial element of human emotional maturity and development which should be experienced by everyone – after all, a horn is not a horn unless you take it on). And displaying cunning and guile beyond her years, she hoped that the news would upset and encourage the woman to leave the man thus leaving her as the sole competitor for his affections. Or, if it failed, she would enjoy some level of satisfaction. “We both lose”. Her actions never for a moment considered or cared to consider the harm and consequences in store for her fellow woman, the man or for the family.

In ruling against the man the judge is in effect condoning reckless lifestyle and behavior on the woman’s part. Whether the man waffled and waivered in his testimony about whether it was he or her who took the photos and also about whether she had actually shown the photos to his woman or had simply told her about the relationship is not the real issue. When you play the game and lose you are supposed to take your bat and ball and go home. She knew exactly what was her aim and the fire that she was playing with. The man never denied having a woman; his lie was that it was “an arrangement of convenience.” In any case, what law of nature says that If you hit me with a pebble I should retaliate in like kind and not with a big stone?

For the record, there is no law on the books of T&T that deals with the issues of this case. However, the judge mentioned the “spirit” of the law. My hope is that the appellate judge would have a more worldly view. Love and sex are mutually exclusive phenomena where men are concerned. . Men were made visual creatures ( flesh of my flesh, bones of my bones). The double standard of a man with more than one woman being a “sweet man” still exists and is made even worse in today’s culture by some women not having respect for their male counterpart unless he has an “outside” woman.

The young lady breached all confidentiality by going to the man’s woman. And this she did for purely selfish purposes and motivations. She opened the door. Regretfully, he did not handle it in gentlemanly fashion, succumbing instead to “temporary insanity”. Hopefully all is not lost and some self-respecting Christian elder would take the time to sit with the young lady, teach her about self-respect and explain to her the high values, ideals and responsibilities to which God has entrusted her in making her “ woman.”. Encourage her to learn to love herself so that she might experience the greatest love of all and would stop selling herself short.

Dat is it; he words an views—different from mines ent? Because ah dat, we done argue bout dis long time oui.

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October 2015
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