One week before:

As soon as ah hear about it, ah know ah was goin an be in dat. Any nervousness get overruled by excitement. Yes! I was in dat fuh sure.

It eh easy tuh admit, buh every time ah had ah pole in mih hand wid de udder end in de water, I never cyatch nuttin. Never. Even when my boys was chirren. De closest was de time ah geh tired ah de pole in de water an nuttin eh bitin. Ah steups an reel mih line back een. Tuh mih surprise dis sad lookin tiny weeny ting orn de hook. Dem wabine in Triniland bigger.

Me an mih boys never get tuh experience de rush ah battlin someting dat want tuh stay which part it live while you have udder plans fuh it. Ah promise mih sons, dey is now men, dat we go go out on in de sea an get dat thrill. Someting dey could parse orn tuh de own chirren when de time come.

Years an years ago, when ah did fuss reach in dis country, ah went out on ah boat wid mih fadder. Ah had no clue what ah was doin so ah was really only dey fuh him tuh say, move out mih way boy, while he fight wid whatever was orn he hook.

So now dis week, all dese years later, when ah hear dis excursion was goin an happen, ah know ah had tuh be in dat. Yes, it mean gettin up damn early tuh cyatch de boat, buh everybody else goin have tuh do dat too. De onlyest ting ah really wish was dat mih own boys, could be dey too. It would ah be de trip ah promise dem.

By de way, me eh no real water person nah. Sure ah does bade an ting buh ah doh go out ah mih way tuh be arong no big set ah water. Maybe is because I have no confidence in mih swimmin ability.

Macqueripe, earlier dis year, was de larse time ah was in any sea. Somebody did tell mih de water deep because submarines used tuh dock dey. So fuh ah long time ah stay up by de boardwalk area watchin people enjoyin de nice-lookin waters. Ah finally join dem buh only up tuh mih waist.

Before den was Bacolet Bay. Both times was because when yuh go back Triniland, yuh must have ah sea bath tuh get rid ah de blight before headin back tuh de cold tuh pick up more.

De day before:

When somebody say God does laugh when people make plans is true yes. Ah have first hand knowledge just how true.

Is ah day before de outing. I in de orfice lettin mih lunch digest. Just so mih belly tell mih grab ah newspaper an go visit one ah de company thrones. Actually no more newspapers. All ah needed was mih iPhone an de games orn it. So suitably armed, ah obey de call ah nature.

Nuttin.

Ah abandon de throne so ah next subject could obey too. Mih belly get vex. It reissue de same order.

Again ah obey.

Same result.

Mih belly signal it eh care by huttin more. Now I in serious pain prayin it go stop just now.

Twenty minutes later, ah could hardly walk, it dat bad. Ah realize ah cyar take it no more. Ah swallow mih pride an ask mih manager fuh help. Dat one act release mih tuh respond tuh de pain in de open.

All ah could say now is mih hat orf tuh all de mudders ah dis planet. Tanks fuh not being wimps. My pain pale in comparison tuh what allyuh does take tuh bear babies. Eef men had tuh do dat families wouldn’t have more dan one chile.

So de on-staff medical aides reach mih, one pushin ah wheel chair. Despite mih pain, pride still in mih tail. Me eh want tuh be in no wheel chair goin dong no hall like is ah damn parade. Why not pants mih one time. But in de wheel chair ah end up an dong we gorn tuh de room dey have fuh sick people. Was nuttin dey could do fuh mih so dey call fuh ah ambulance.

How many time I take mih car tuh de mechanic only tuh have it stop doin whatever it was doin when ah reach by he? Well I was mih car when we reach de hospital. Ah get left tuh describe de pain in de parse tense wid nuttin tuh back mih up.

No pain mean ah could finally open mih eye. De fuss ting ah notice was how crowded de emergency room was. It look like chaos. Part ah de mess was de stretchers line up wid people like me in each, waitin like how planes on ah airport runway does wait take orf. Mih pain had time tuh come back an kill mih eef it wanted an ah would ah still be in dat mess.

Looks could be deceivin doh. In two twos ah was in ah room, eef yuh could call ah spot wid ah curtain arong it ah room.

De chaos was well organized.

Somebody come een an jook mih wid ah needle so dey could hook up ah IV. After de pain I was in before, dey could ah stick dat needle in mih eyeball an ah wouldn’t ah blink. Somebody wid ah chart come een askin mih fuh id, mih insurance card an way ah livin. Ah doctor askin mih what rong; eef ah does smoke, drink, take illegal drugs; eef dis disease or dat disease in mih family. Orn an orn. Who tuh answer first. Ah pick de doctor.

Dey run dis test den dat test den de udder test. Eef ah go outside at night ah go glow. Is dat much radiation dey pump een mih takin X-rays. After every test, dey shrug dey shoulders. Ah tell mihself:

shit ah stumpin dey baxide, dat cyar be good.

Different doctors come een askin mih de same questions. I see dem detective shows so mih answers was constant.

Where de pain is again?

Ah show dem de area ah mih belly.

De top part or de lower part ah dat area?

Ah was in too much pain at de time tuh measure, ah respond.

Yuh couldn’t pee yuh say?

Ah never say dat. Ah say nuttin eh happen when ah use de bathroom. (my code fuh de number after 1).

Yuh vomit?

No, ah only get nauseous.

More shoulder shruggin.

In de end dey decide is ah gallstone ah pass. Dey determine dat by ah process ah elimination. Translation? Is guess dey guess.

De day of:

Ah back home.

Buh what eef dem doctors guess rong ah tinkin? What eef de gallstone come back wid ah vengeance? I cyar take dat kind ah pain again nah. Maybe ah could get ah woman tuh take it fuh mih?

Anyway, somebody had ah next plan fuh mih. It didn’t include no boat early dis mornin.

It have more dan one way tuh be at sea ah guess.