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Cricket could kill yuh oui

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December 13, 2014 by Fensic

One ah we probably buss calpet on ah younger student an ‘borrow’ he ball an bat. Maybe somebody in we lime offer dey own. Doh look at me cause me eh had no cricket bat an no corkball tuh lend even mihself. So wid no pads or gloves, cause de equipment room was locked, we head dong de hill from de school buildin tuh de cricket field dat lunchtime. Man take dey shirt out de pants on de field so dey could move more free. Dem was de days when someting dat simple would give yuh ah nice lil head cause yuh was defyin de people rules.

Batsman at de crease, fielders set, me playin wicket keeper. De bowler orf in de distance ready tuh start he long run up cause he bowlin pace. He run up. He bowl. Ah bouncer. De batsman voop an miss. De ball flash parse de bat. Tings start movin in slow motion fuh me way, way . . . waaaaaay behind de wicket. Ah tort dat far back ah was safe.

It safe tuh whisper dat in dem days ah did sort ah fraid corkball buh ah did admire Derek Murray.

Ah still sure ah would ah cyatch de damn ball eef ah had orn gloves. Instead it zoom by mih two matchstick hand an WHAM!

Is stop ah stop it wid mih mout oui. Ah tooth pop out mih head an gorn flyin in one direction. De ball gorn in ah next one. Blood everywhere. Me? Ah on mih back lookin up at de sky wonderin why ah didn’t keep mih arse in de people school buildin. De bowler come over tuh see how ah doin. He tell mih how much he does charge fuh extractions an dat since he eh use no Novocain he givin mih ah discount. He was de class comedian.

Yes, I know first hand yuh could get hurt playin cricket.

In 1975-1976, de West Indies tour Australia losin de series 5 – 1. Dem pace bowler from Dong Under put ah lickin on we batsmen. Despite all dat fire from dem de one test match de West Indies win dey win by ah whole innings. Still, was body blows fuh any batsmen who couldn’t defend heself wid he bat or duck farse enough.

Dem was de days when playin fuh de West Indies evoked ah different kind ah pride tuh what we does see tuhday. Any argument dat even back den players was givin away dey wickets is ah discussion fuh ah next time. I dey wid de kind ah pride dat did mean when yuh get licks somebody else team had tuh pay.

Yes, eef only dat was de mindset ah current West Indian cricketers.

Hello India.

De West Indies learn well from de Australians. Dey pace attack was ferocious. Ah read ah article dat call de test match in Jamaica de ‘massacre at Sabina’. Indian players end up in hospital an de team surrender when dey declare at 91 fuh 5 givin de West Indies 12 runs tuh win. De series was like ah replay ah de Australian tour wid spectators callin fuh blood, dis time Indian blood.

Yes, in cricket yuh could beat ah team into submission.

Like all batsmen dese days, Phillip he was wearin de standard helmet wid de bars dat does make yuh face look like it in jail.

He went tuh pull ah bouncer an miss. De ball hit him arong he left ear, just below where de helmet does reach. After de blow Phillip bend over, hands on knees like eef he was sayin, “allyuh give mih ah second leh mih cyatch mih self.” Next ting yuh know he pitch tuh de grong, face first. Two days later, on November 27th 2014, Phillip Hughes who play some twenty-five test matches fuh Australia, was dead at 25. His larse match was in ah regional game.

Ah freak accident?

Most, eef not all sports at de international level are substitutes fuh war tuh some degree. Cricket more so since yuh have weapons at de ready.

Pace bowlers wid dey bouncers an full toss dyin tuh teach yuh ah lesson about respect. Nah, ah take dat back, dey dyin tuh beat yuh wid de ball. Captains invitin batsmen tuh try someting while ringin de bat wid 5 or more fielders. Batsmen acceptin de challenge by lookin tuh knock de head orf one ah dem fielders. Over-passionate spectators, eyes bulgin, callin fuh blood.

Yes rules does evolve. Batsmen stop wearin dem floppy hat dat doh even shade de sun good. Try an bowl more dan two bouncers in ah over in ah test match. While yuh could keep tweakin de rules tuh make batsmen safer, yuh cyar water dem tong tuh where ah cricket match itself more dead dan de water break.

Buh de fact is dat Phillip Hughes wasn’t in ah match against ah next country.

De fact is de fella who bowl de bouncer wasn’t out lookin fuh blood. Phillip Hughes do what batsmen who eh duck does try an do wid de odd bouncer in ah over—hit it fuh six. His miss was deadly.

De fact is dat eef batsmen start wearin full upper body protection along wid metal cups, it eh go be cricket no more. Since de game is a substitute fuh war yuh might as well just let dem fight fuh how ever long de match was supposed tuh larse. Half dat time eef de West Indies involve cause we doh larse long no more.

What jolt mih in all dis is dat goin back tuh when ah had dat Novocain-free extraction tuh now, I never consider de speed dat corkball does move nah. Not in terms ah miles per hour. It was ah Australian cricket official who say after Phillip dead dat we does fuhget ah pace bowler hurlin someting goin over 90 miles ah hour at ah batsman.

It have anyting yuh could pelt at dat kind ah speed dat doh have de ability tuh hurt, even kill eef it hit de right place? Or is it de wrong place?

Ah smilin as ah remember de tightly rolled up wad ah paper ah would use tuh make bullets fuh mih sling shot. Dey didn’t move at no 90 miles ah hour buh dey used tuh put some nice welts on dem fellas’ arms.

What was more soberin fuh mih when ah first hear de story ah how Phillip died was dat it could ah be me dat lunchtime out on dat cricket pitch.

How would dem vultures in de stands react eef it had been one ah we West Indian batsman on dat tour tuh Australia?

What about de West Indian press eef one ah dem Indian batsmen who had tuh go tuh de hospital did dead?

Could someting like dis happen tuhday tuh one ah dem pretty-boy batsmen playin cricket fuh de West Indies?

Dat not ah fair question? Sorry buh life just not fair.

Until November 27, 2014 who would ah tort yuh could geh kill playin cricket?

Not me.

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