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Interviewin Fensic

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August 16, 2014 by Fensic

De chair squeal when he lean forward, he right hand extended tuh meet dat ah de person across de table. He bottom raise orf de seat as he stretch tuh make de connection. De hand waitin fuh his was too short so it owner had tuh stand. Dey two hands clasp.

“Tanks fuh agreein tuh dis interview”, de reporter repeat.

“No problem.”

“What ah should call yuh, Phensic or Fensic?”

As Fensic bumsie settle back into de chair, he look de reporter dead in de eye. De reporter eh blink. De fan was de nosiest ting in de room as it push hot air from one place tuh de next.

“Well it eh matter how yuh pronounce it, as long as yuh spell it F-e-n-s-i-c, ent?”

“Dat make sense. Why dat spellin doh?”

Fensic chair squawk as he begin tuh fidget. He remember de day he first use Fensic. He ears start bunnin again. He swallowed hard.

“I eh know dis interview was goin an be about me nah. Buh since yuh done gorn an ask dat question, ah invoke mih right not tuh answer.”

De reporter frown.

“So why yuh agree tuh ah no-holds barred interview den?”

“Because while it have plenty tings goin orn nuttin ah could write ah whole blog orn dis week.”

“Oooh. So . . . so, yuh . . . yuh . . . usin de press?”

Fensic smile at de irony.

“How long one ah yuh blogs does be an what yuh website call?”

“Dey used tuh be arong 1,500 words buh dat too long so now dey no more dan 1,200 words. Mih site? Yuh understand what ah tellin yuh?”

De reporter nod.

“Well let we start nah. Ah have plenty questions.”

“As long as yuh eh lookin tuh get in mih personal business like just now.”

Riiiggghhhht . . . So what tuh tink about Email-gate comin back?”

“Waste ah time.”

“Oh really? Why?”

Fensic lean back in he creaky chair, he two hands behind he head.

“It have tuh have Trinis who technically brilliant an know de Google story.”

“Why dat relevant? All Google have tuh do is say eef de emails come from dem email address . . .”

Fensic lean forward.

“Let mih stop yuh right dey. Dem email address doh exist. Never did. Dat is what de Trini Google techie would know. Yuh cyar send anyting from ah place dat never exist. No email addresses mean no story, no matter how juicy de bacchanal is, not so? Next question?”

Fensic felt tall tall.

“What yuh tink ah de changes tuh de constitution Kamla an dem proposin?”

De noise from de fan like it get louder an de air it was movin hotter.

“I fuh anyting dat make T&T better. Dis kind ah change need plenty debate. Not by dem politicians eh, buh de people who supposed tuh pick dey leaders. I surprised how farse dis ting movin in de system. I was expectin plenty debate. Ah want tuh hear more about de death ah democracy an racial tolerance dat supposed tuh happen.”

“Yuh say ah mouthful Mr. Fensic. Ah could call yuh just Fensic?”

“As long as yuh doh all mih Caffenol.”

Fensic chair groan.

“What yuh tink ah Rowley?”

“Hmmm. He does believe some ah dem tings he does say?”


“Does come across as sorf, like she not in charge.”

“Ah cabal?”

“Not goin dey.”

“How about de actin CoP tellin de press tuh stop countin de number ah days since Dana Seetahal geh murdered?”

Fensic shake he head. “Yeah ah read dat. Ah tink he also say it disrespectful tuh she family. Mih onlyest comment is tuh wonder which more disrespectful: de papers keepin count or de poleece unable tuh call de family an tell dem dey arrest somebody.”

De reporter push de pause button on de tape recorder.

“Eef ah was allowed tuh be bias ah would turn orf mih recorder an clap. Yuh make plenty sense dey oui man.”

Stayin wid crime, what yuh tink ah Johnny Abraham?”

“Johnny does lead from de front. I tink he prove dat poleece officers would go tuh Hell an back behind ah leader like dat. Criminals harden, dem two now dead car tief prove dat. Eef each poleece division had ah Johnny Abraham in charge . . .” Fensic voice trailed orf as he eyes moistened.

“Watson Duke”, de reporter ask quick.

“Ah does go between likin an not likin he. Right now ah like him. Expose all dem bad govahment buildings. Shut dem dong even. Yuh notice no more tork ah injunction against he? Is fraid dey fraid what he go do?”

“Should Dookeran an Seepersad-Bachan resign?”

“Fuh what? Is true Dooks lorse mih wid he logic as tuh why he vote against de PP. Buh resign? We need tuh hear different points ah view before decidin ting.”

“It rain fuh 10 minutes an tong flood. Torts?”

“When Warner was Minister ah Works an Transport didn’t he start some program dat was supposed tuh stop or at least ease de floodin? Now all de clouds an dem have tuh do is look threatenin an is flood de place done flood. By de way, when yuh write dis article, go back an research what ah sayin eh. Start wid de Express Oct 6, 2010.”

“Doh worry, ah does always do mih research.”

“Anyting else yuh want tuh ask mih?”

Fensic back was tuh de reporter because he was swivelin in he chair when he ask.

“How about guns gettin tief from de Forensics Centre?”

Fensic, eyes squintin an jaws clenched turn an face de reporter.

“De hardest part in all dis is dat nuttin eh go come ah no probe. How dis one go be different dan de larse . . . 100 probes dat happen? Name one probe on anyting dat send people tuh jail. People all over de world does do rong buh it usually have consequences. Why it different in dis King Solomon’s mine? Dat is de real hard part tuh swallow.”

“King Who What?”

“Check out Portrait ah Trinidad . . . an Tobago.

“Dat is ah book in de library?”

“No, ah calypso by de Mighty Sniper.”

Silence start buh Fensic break it quick.

“Ah want tuh bring something up, dat is awright?

“Why not, is Fensic de blogger.

Fensic skin he teet den turn serious.

“Anil Roberts was right.”

Fensic hear ah gasp an watch de reporter push de chair from de table. Ah hand start rubbin ah neck. Fensic pressed orn.

“Why is de Red Steel in de CPL call de Trinidad an Tobago Red Steel? De country sponsorin de team? If not, den take de country name orf. Gary Griffith need tuh focus on he responsibilities. He know Trinis is captain ah two udder teams? Ah next ting . . .”

“. . . on dat note Fensic we have tuh end dis interview, ah tink yuh close tuh yuh word limit.”

De reporter turn orf de recorder.

Fensic chair eh make no noise as he stretch across de table tuh shake de woman hand.

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August 2014
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