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What tuh call Gary?

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August 9, 2014 by Fensic

De recent events on de political scene gettin mih excited yes. New Parliamentary Standin Orders an de proposed changes tuh de political landscape does do dat every time. De debates go be passionate. Since ah expectin dem tuh larse fuh ah while, ah safe tuh go back tuh mih torts from before.

Prime Minister?

Only ah dotish person go take dat title after Kamla, Manning an Panday mess it up.

Permanent Savior an Temporary Leader?

Dat have ah nice ring. Like it comin dong from ah higher power.

So why ah here tinkin ah different titles fuh Gary Griffith when he title done is de latest Minister ah National Security?

It eh he pushin de idea of soldiers patrollin Laventille? He inchin closer tuh doin what I done on record as askin— should de TTDF take over Triniland?

He say all over de world it normal dat eef yuh kill ah soldier, de udder soldiers does take it personal an hunt dong yuh baxide. Actually it true fuh poleece too buh yuh would never know from de response yuh does see from de TTPS.

Okay ah lyin. When Sgt. Manwaring get shoot an died in Feb. 2013, de TTPS launch ah massive manhunt fuh he killers.

Buh back tuh Commander Griffith.

Ah hope he eh take dat title. It too militaristic. We don’t want de man tuh have ah psychotic episode when he remember he was only ah captain in de regiment.

Once he done ask people what have dem so excited, dat it normal fuh soldiers tuh seek revenge try an solve de murder ah one ah dey own, he say it eh have tuh have ah poleece officer every place it have soldiers. I read dat as he meanin de poleece doh have tuh hold no soldier hand. Dat it eh bong tuh have poleece arong soldiers all de time. Eef poleece wasn’t useless soldiers wouldn’t have tuh be out dey in de hot sun doin poleece wuk. Me eh say none ah dat eh, ah readin de man mind. Besides, what soldiers does say about dem an poleece?

Shōgun Gary den say, “the soldiers will remain there until the area is brought under control. It might be intensified, but with the support of the Police Service.“

Shōgun? Why not?

Look close at Gary face an squint one eye. Yuh cyar see ah lil Asian dey—Chinese? But people might expect him tuh walk arong wid one ah dem long curved sword dat could cut orf ah person head wid one whack. Being ah ex-soldier, Griffith might prefer ah Galil tuh drill holes in de person.

Ah doh expect de army take-over tuh larse more dan four tuh six years. Dat long enough tuh retrain Trinis. Every Trini have tuh love de country like Jamaicans love Jamaica or Americans love America. Even how Brazilians still love Brazil after de cut arse Germany put on dem in de World Cup. De love have tuh be strong enough tuh defend de country against all, especially dem strayin Trinis who does look fuh de slightest chance to hold dey head in dey hand when shit happen an bawl about how dey embarrassed.

Durin de military rule, all de tings dat need fixin could start gettin fix in preparation fuh de return tuh civilian rule. De country have tuh come out de startin gate runnin nice dis time arong. Nineteen sixty-two was ah false start. Fuh proof, look arong at all de ting dat in various stages ah mashin up.

De onlyest ting I want added tuh de agenda fuh change is dat de country name become Trinbago. It cyar be me alone dat does flinch, wonderin how Tobagonians does feel when somebody in ah high place tork about Trinidad when dey really mean Trinidad an Tobago. Of course dem same people cyar have it both ways. When is someting bad involvin just Trinidad, dey cyar get, an Tobago, left orf de name. Dat is why de name should be Trinbago.

No debate in Parliament or nuttin needed fuh dat change since Generalissimo Gary go be rulin by fiat.


Ah hope Gary eh have no score tuh settle wid anybody from de regiment who do him rong when he was ah member. Dat said, ah fraid fuh Brigadier Sandy, anybody remember he? Kamla send he tuh Switzerland tuh replace Therese Baptiste-Cornelis in 2012. Me eh know what dem two army men relationship was like buh ah have mih suspicions. Eef ah right, Sandy might as well seek asylum, he done right dey in de heart ah neutral country.

Some Trinis go be appalled by de idea ah being de only English-speakin Caribbean country dat have tuh have ah successful coup. I eh want no hypocrisy when we done know what happen in 1990. In fact, toss een what Raffique Shah an Rex LaSalle try in 1970 an is two coup attempts it had oui.

De army is de one organization dat have de discipline an trainin fuh dis task. Remember dat display at de 50th anniversary ah independence? Dem skills could get put tuh use. Same ting wid de Coast Guard display in 2008 fuh Prince Charles. It had man jumpin out helicopter into de sea tuh “attack”. Me eh know attack what buh dey attack good an dey look good attackin. So what eef it eh have no water tuh jump een during de take-over? Dey could slide dong rope from de helicopters.

Okay let mih stop dreamin an fuhget Gary Griffith fuh ah second.

Ah didn’t like de nonsense of de actin commissioner ah police torkin tuh de head ah de army through de media. Dat was foolishness.

De idea of arrestin soldiers eef dey was patrollin by deyself was ah recipe fuh disaster.

Ah was wonderin eef de world actin Commissioner Williams was livin in didn’t have no phone he could pick up an call de head ah de TTDF to resolve de dotishness. Dis is how ah did see de call goin:

“Trinidad an Tobago Defence Force, Major General Maharaj.”

“Aye Kenrick!”

“Etienne, is you boy?”

“Why yuh does call mih dat? Ah not French.”

“Ha ha. True. Relax nah Willie. Relax.”

“Man ah cyar relax when yuh soldiers up een Laventille breakin de law.”

“Yuh cyar always trus de press.”

“Dat is how ah find out soldiers wearin mask, kickin dong people door an slappin dem. An we not dey.”

“Eef anybody get licks dey wasn’t goin home from Sunday school nah Willie.”

“De law is de law Kenrick.”

“Tork tuh Gary yes Willie, he understand how tings does wuk.”

“Good idea. Ah need tuh know mih role in all ah dis.”

“Okay Etienne. By de way, congratulations on gettin ah next 6 months. I like wukkin wid yuh. Ah have tuh go. More troops tuh Laventille nah. We could bounce later?”

“Ok man, later . . . Wait! Yuh have Gary number? . . . Shoot, is gorn he done gorn oui.”

Dat mightn’t be how it went dong buh ah glad de bacchanal over.

Ah second must be parse by now so back tuh Gary Griffith.

Permanent Savior an Temporary Leader.

Ah like de ring dat have.

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August 2014
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