“Way yuh have tuh say about de latest news”, ah ask.

“Yuh mean wid Glen Ramadharsingh?”

He was soundin serious.

“He self”, ah answer.

“Well she eh had no choice, she had tuh fire he . . .  Doh fuhget Rowley call fuh he firin long time”, he lectured.

Eef he tort mentionin Rowley wid ah impress mih he tort rong.

“Who in de govahment Rowley eh say have tuh resign?”

He buss ah laugh.

“I doh take he orn no more nah”, ah follow up wid.

He chuckle.

“From de time ah hear Glen had tuh report tuh she ah figure he was in trouble.”

“What yuh meanin?” he ask.

“Well Kamla is ah woman so she could understand what it must be like fuh ah woman when ah man touch tut-tuts widout invitation. Man cyar know how dat does feel tuh women.”

Ah was rememberin de time in de crowded elevator. More people was squeezin een like eef it wasn’t goin an have ah next elevator. Mih hand accidently brush de bumsie ah dis woman in front ah mih as she was backin back. Mih fuss tort was, “boy, dat bumsie spongy”, buh ah move quick quick tuh say sorry, was ah accident. De larse ting I needed was ah woman accusin mih ah someting ah eh do. Dis eh Triniland nah. Mih face in de papers de next day an ah eh geh charge wid nuttin? Steups.

“. . . dat right dey was trouble fuh he”, ah continue.

He agree.

Normally me an he doh agree so often, at least not so early in de conversation. Dis better not be no trend else how we go argue Trini politics when we torkin?

Ah try again.

“No matter what Kamla did do she would ah geh criticize”.

Eef he did bite ah was ready tuh jump on he Rowley fuh sayin Kamla had tuh geh rid ah Glen den tun arong an say de PNM not impressed by de firin.

Ah try ah next tack.

“Hear nah,” . . .  ah start.

“Hear what?”

“Yuh tink Kamla firin all dem people from she govahment go have ah impact on how udder govahments an dey ministers go treat de public?”

“How much she fire, 11?”, he ask.

“14.” (he was right ah find out later).

He hesitate. De Trini in he was fightin de PNM in he.

“It . . . should”, he admit.

Again we was agreein. What was happenin tuh we normal battles?

“I done tell you long time ago dat Trinidad is ah model democracy . . .”, ah stop he right dey.

“Yuh never tell mih nuttin like dat.”

“Okay, ah mightn’t ah used dem exact words but ah tell you Trinis done know who dey votin for. No riotin in de streets against de govahment. Dey just drinkin dey rum an waitin fuh election.”

“Yuh tell mih dat part before, but dat ting about ‘model democracy’, yuh never say dat before.”

“Ah mightn’t ah used dem exact words . . .”

“Yuh eh used no words dat could even mean dat.”

He eh take mih orn so ah continue.

“Besides me eh tink riotin should be de alternative. Trinis need tuh be more involved fuh when shit like what Glen do happenin.” Ah pause buh he eh say nuttin. Was he waitin fuh mih tuh hang mihself?

“. . . Wait fuh de next election an de govahment go done tief everyting it have. Let dem politicians know eef dey do shit, dey gorn”.

“No riotin in de streets against de govahment. Dey just drinkin dey rum an waitin fuh election.”

Ah change de subject.

“Yuh hear Kamla say what-he-name-again, givin up de govahment job just get, ah cyar remember which one, tuh go back home an manage de PP election campaign?”

He tun professorial.

“Anybody who givin up dey job tuh manage Kamla campaign wastin dey time. Dat or dey go be gettin money fuh doin nuttin”.

Ah try ah next route.

“So what allyuh doin tuh Penny boy? Yuh tink she geh set up?

“Why she gorn ah challengin Rowley for? . . . de man is de leader ah de party.” 

“So? He arse cyar geh challenge?”

He pelt ah dodge.

“I eh mind challenge. Challenge fine . . buh yuh know even de Women’s League backin him?”

Me en no dyed in de wool PNMite so ah decide tuh leave dat fuh dem tuh sort out.

“Well it eh look like ah gettin no blog material out ah dis conversation nah”, ah say.

Dat excite him.

“Ah done tell yuh, dem school chirren nowadays is de story. Now ah 10 year-old chokin de teacher? De two ah dem rollin on de grong?”

De two ah we start laughin. We is old school so comparin dat image wid what we was used to was funny no tail, buh in ah sad way.

“Could you imagine one ah we chokin . . .” [female teacher name given buh it eh gettin say here], he ask?

We laugh harder.

“Yuh . . . yuh would ah have tuh deal wid . . . “ [male teacher name given buh same ting like wid de female teacher name], he manage tuh say while dyin wid laugh.

I almost fuhget ah was at wuk, ah was laughin so hard.

“He used tuh be de one doin de canin too. Man he would ah drink two Guinness before he cane yuh baxide fuh chokin she.”

“Wait nah. Didn’t he used tuh take de end ah he short sleeve shirt an roll it up like eef he had ripplin muscles tuh show orf?” ah ask.

“YES! YES!”

How far tings reach eventually stop we from laughin.

Mih pardnah was right. De idea ah somebody from we school puttin dey hand on ah teacher funny now because it was untinkable den.

Dis eh de fuss time he tell mih tuh tork about dem bard behave chirren. Larse week he did.

Ah tell him dat ah did start writin bout dem, buh de same time ah was writin, de story break about de man orn de bus who did just just geh shoot in he head an dead. De shooter? Ah 14 year-old ‘gangster’ tryin tuh shoot ah next ‘gangster’. While it eh happen in Triniland, it just as bard as de boy playin de fool wid ah gun an kill he sister.

By de way, where de gun jump up an gorn?

All ah could really do is ask what people expect from chirren when adults eh know how tuh behave?

People like dat fool, refusin tuh listen tuh instructions an lettin he hand touch de people an dem breast; even eef by accident. He couldn’t do like me an apologize?

Fuh now, me an mih pardnah unified: Fire dey arse.

Next week, me an he go be arguin again, ah hope.