Ah have tuh put mih position on de table before ah move ah next muscle.

I fuh anyting an’ everyting dat go make de country an’ people in T&T feel safe.

Everyting an’ anyting.

I for quick arrests, quick trials fuh de accused an’ dem, an’ eef dey geh find guilty quick, jail or quick hangin’ eef dat is dey punishment.

Den again, who not fuh law an’ order, right?

Buh ah also fuh common sense. Ah fuh tacklin’ de cause of ah problem not puttin’ no band-aids on de symptoms. Yuh cyar go an’ bade after ironin’ an’ den tink yuh could fight de symptoms when yuh geh sick.

Bottom line? Ah okay wid some dotishness buh not dotishness as ah way ah life.

Dat bring mih tuh dis new Virtual Poleece ting dey callin’ ah major crime fightin’ initiative. It go be part ah dat ‘way ah life’ ah just tork bout.

One ah de tings ah doh wonder about no more is how come police in udder places does seem tuh solve crime so quick. Or at least solve it light years before de arrest dat de TTPS does always say is imminent, could happen. Ah used tuh tink it was simply because dey was so much better at what dey does do, dan de TTPS is at what it does try tuh do.

Buh dat would only be ah partial answer. It leavin’ out ah major ting: Dem udder police does get help from dey public. Dat critical. Someplace ah see where it say de citizens is de eyes an’ ears ah dey police.

When bard ting happen in dem udder places, citizens wid information does pick up dey phone an’ call dey police who does den take dat information an’ do what dey good at doin’.

Partnership at wuk.

De citizens by an’ large trust dey police an’ de police does do what dey have tuh do tuh keep dat trust. Trust eh someting yuh could turn orn just so when it gorn nah man. Dat have tuh be earned an’ den protected.

In Triniland, poleece does respond tuh man callin’ dem idiot by slappin’ dem an’ from all appearance, get tuh keep dey job. Poleece does do udder shit an’ geh transfer tuh ah next poleece station so dey could do de same shit dey too. Drivers does steups an’ speed parse de poleece, breakin’ de speed limit in de process, or so ah hear. Citizens does be frighten tuh parse information orn tuh de poleece cause dey tink all poleece corrupt. How Trini poleece could solve crime widout de public eyes an’ ears?

Since de police eh gettin’ all de calls dey need wid information, de latest plan is tuh go arong de problem an’ ignore what causin’ it. How? Easy eef yuh believe ah website fuh people tuh provide tips tuh de poleece make any sense. After all, de tipsters go be ‘anonymous’. Yes, Trinis go be Virtual Poleece.

Dat sound tuh me like ah perfect plan fuh dem place where de police an’ citizens done have ah good ting goin’. Buh since Triniland eh one ah dem places, mih question real simple.

Who is de damn fool dat tort dis was ah borse idea fuh T&T? I eh mean de person who come up wid it. Ah want de first person who hear it an’ say, “yes, dat is ah good idea! De PNM was so dotish dey could ah never tink ah someting dis smart.’  Is de face ah dat person ah want tuh see.

Anybody who siddong in dey house waitin’ fuh everybody tuh leave before tiptoein’ into de toilet wid dey wireless laptop an’ ah flambeau an’ gorn tuh dat website tuh send dey tip, all de while tinkin’ dey is virtual police so dey invisible? Well dat person have ah next ting comin’. Yuh does leave ah digital fingerprint when yuh use ah computer. Smart people wid de means could find yuh tail.

When ah read where de latest MSN say dis Virtual Poleece ting needed because it eh have no perfect crime, dat it always have clues? Right dey ah was sure it have people who was headin’ fuh treatment in St. Anns buh dey geh lorse an’ now dey have access tuh tings wid sharp edges or dey have important jobs in govahment.

Dat eh de job ah dem CSI people? Tuh find dem clues an mean? Virtual Poleece supposed tuh put orn dem white jumpsuits an’ de ting over dey nose an’ go tuh de scene of ah crime an’ find de clues now? Of course sayin’ dat is utterly dotish buh ah have tuh fight dotishness wid dotishness cause as usual, tings bass ackwards.

Yes, murders too high, too common place. Too many people gettin’ way wid . . . well murder. Buh dat only mean now not de time tuh start tinkin’ chupidness. Yuh cyar be out in de dew all de time an’ tink orange peel tea go stop yuh from gettin’ de cold.

De TTPS cyar get back lost public confidence via no damn website. Ah sorry tuh say dat, buh is true.

Confidence in de police does come only one way dat I know of: It have tuh be earned. Eef de TTPS doh know how tuh do dat, den all dem, from cyaptin tuh cook need tuh take orf whichever version ah de uniform dey does wear an’ go home. Go learn ah trade. Go mop up leakin’ oil dong south or someting constructive. Doh fuhget de latest MNS when allyuh leave.

So what eef ah poleece officer wid 900 years ah service lorse he job fuh takin’ ah bribe? Who fault dat go be? Show de public when poleece mess up is punishment one time.

Just tuh be fair, here is de whole plan fuh dese Virtual Poleece:

Oops, ah done give de highlights ahready. De only part ah miss is dat eef yuh tip lead tuh ah arrest, you go get “handsomely rewarded”. Ah go have tuh check an’ see eef is just ah arrest or it have tuh have ah conviction too cause convictions does be hard tuh come by in T&T. Ah assume eef yuh doh get dat handsome reward yuh dorgs dead.

Yuh see next year? No more goin’ out in de dew widout ah hat fuh me. All mih clothes gettin’ iron de day before. I go be tacklin’ mih own problems. I eh go be waitin’ fuh de symptoms. I go be proactive.

Who cyar do dat?