Ah goin’ dong de Lady Young Road in neutral dis week. Eef ah eh make one ah dem corners, is because no energy, only gravity. Ah cyar take orn nuttin heavy. Next week doh.

Random observations den?

De udder day ah was wonderin’ eef Kamla an’ dem does ever look back an’ ask deyself what de arse did get into dem tuh tink Jack as minister ah anyting was ah good idea. Ah not no politician, buh let mih still answer fuh Kamla. “We was strong wid Jack an’ now he gorn, we stronger!”

Ah have ah philosophy when ah see ah murder case geh toss by de judge because it eh have enough evidence or de police eh do tings right. Ah does look at how ole de case is an’ tell mihself de police does do better now. Well in 2011, Daniel Guerra, 8-years young, geh murdered. De police charge one ah dey own. Dis week de officer walk out de court ah free man. De prosecution eh had no case, de senior magistrate say.

Everyting about dis case recent. De police eh doin’ no blasted better. An’ why dey does treat one ah dey own so different when dey in trouble? How bad dey really want de public tuh have confidence in dem? Me eh in de police executive buh how could dem kind ah actions ever be right?

Was Herbert Philip Volney really ah Supreme Court Judge in T&T? He leave he sense on de bench or what? De man like he lorse since Kamla say Section 34 was he fault. Alone. Is like he eh want people tuh fuhget he dey. Someplace.

Herb? Ah want tuh make it easy fuh you. You not no Jack. St Joseph eh Chaguanas. Yuh doh have tuh keep orn openin’ yuh mout’ tuh tork ah set ah shit. Just ride orf into de sunset. We promise we aim go stay bard an’ we go miss yuh. Let go Philip.

Ah was watchin’ Dr. Surujrattan Rambachan in parliament torking about what he media contact tell he about ah next political party. Is just me who was uncomfortable? He eh look like ah hen, ah real macomeh man carryin’ news? Ah know parliament does have ah dotish season, buh Suruj? Yuh is ah kinda big fella an’ wid de mannerisms of ah woman when yuh tork dey? Yuh know what ah mean, ent? Dat wasn’t yuh finest moment nah.

More on tork?

Ah tort when de latest, (ah prefer dat over ‘new’), Minister ah National Security geh sworn een he say tork done, time fuh action? I must be wrong cause he mout’ still goin’. Eef ah right den he eat fowl bottom or what? My military backgrong weak so some ah what he say song like it have action behind it. “Primary target”; “hardenin’ dis”; “sorfenin’ dat”. It have tuh have action comin’, right?

Den he went an’ spoil it. Exactly who he was torking to when he announce ah maritime lock dong ah T&T fuh…….. next year? Ah had tuh check de almanac tuh see when dat is. So too did everybody bringin’ drugs an’ guns into Trinbago.

Who else tort dat when Benjai did sing dat “dey like tuh hear Trinis tork, tork, tork, tork, tork”, it was dat kind ah torking he was meanin’? How about ah gang leader? He must be say tuh heself, “gang leaders eh people too? Dem cyar stop we from doin’ nuttin, not even torking.” 

Steups.

Now Cypher epic kaiso wid chorus an’ name de name, “eef de priest could play who is we?” doh want tuh leave mih head.

Mr. Gang Leader tork about all kind ah ting. He open my eye wide cause me eh know dat when de police have road block dey does let bus parse widout checkin’ dem. Hmmm, what David Rudder say dat was part ah de madman rant? “Somebody lettin’ de cocaine parse.”

Imagine, some 17 years later an’ de whole rant still appropriate as ever.

Me eh no gunman buh ah fire mih share ah guns. De idea dat gangs better armed dan de police is absurd. Ah assault rifle eh ah assault rifle? Besides, de police eh usin’ de Israeli-made Galil an’ one ah dem German Heckler-Koch assault rifle? Wid dem kind ah gun, it not more about effectiveness an’ reliability dan anyting?

Ah go wait fuh de next interview when Mr. Gang Leader show orf dey 50 caliber machine gun before I buy into what I consider tuh be dotish an’ distractin’ tork. Still, eef ah had tuh choose who should tork more, ah votin’ fuh Mr. Gang Leader, he might slip up.

Even de Chief Justice doin’ he own torking. He dey wid de idea ah decriminalizin’ small quantities ah weed. Sometimes I does be amazed at how Triniland could be so progressive on some tings an’ decades an’ decades behind in udders dat it should be as equally up tuh date on.

See dat? Ah gettin’ caught up in de tork an’ almost fuhget dat dem kind ah change need years more tork before anyting could happen. Justice Archie go be long retired before anyting like what he proposin’ go see de light ah day. Too much experts have tuh give dey view fuss.

It eh everybody who havin’ verbal diarrhea, some had de real ting, or did dey?

What eef Barbados grab ah Trini in dey airport an’ tie he arse tuh ah bed an’ cause he tuh get de runs? All so he could produce de drugs dey say in he body. No, not no Phensic, de kind ah drugs nah people does smuggle inside dey body.

What eef all de while ting runnin’ dong de man leg he claimin’ he in Barbados fuh ah getaway wid he deputy comin’ dong from de USA? De man romantic weekend would get ruin, ent?

What eef in de end when de onlyest ting dey seein’ come out ah he was any peas or Quaker Oats dey fed he? No drugs. Would dey den tell him he free tuh go an’ tuh have ah nice day?

Dat cyar happen, right? Barbados eh go do dat not after Jamaican Shanique Myrie “finger rape” allegations? An’ not tuh no Trini right?

Shanique went back home bawlin’ dong de place. She leave out ah few details from she story, come tuh find out later. By de way, when de Caribbean Court ah Justice go rule on she case?

Buh back tuh mih unbelievable story.

Dis couldn’t ah happen arong de 7^th, 8^th an’ 9^th ah dis September we in, could it?

What eef de man name Don Baptiste? Would he mudder rush over tuh Bimshire an’ cuss dem Bajans stink stink?

Could Trinis find anyting in de Trini papers on dis?

Eef dey couldn’t dat mean it eh happen?

I wasn’t dey an’ someting still eh smellin’ right.

What eef I.done.tork?