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Ah ‘nancy story

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July 30, 2012 by Fensic

First in case nobody eh hear it yet, Gibbs and he side kick resign from de TTPS, effective Aug. 7th. Dey was overwhelmed I suspect by all tings Trini.

Rumor has it, de rumor I starting here dat is, dat dem police already start dragging back into dem 21st century police stations, de mattresses dat Gibbs had dem take out when he announce he eh paying police tuh sleep but tuh wuk.

Anyway Kamla announce de resignations on TV as part of a statement dat hauntingly similar to what I heard Chin Lee the then Minister of National Security say back in 2002. More gun talk is what it boil dong to.

But talking about haunting, I tink I trump Kamla wid my own tale of fright.

I decide I going and try mih hand at telling ‘nancy stories. I remember as ah lil boy being transfixed by dem stories I used tuh hear rong bed time.  Man, Papa Bois and La Diablesse, Duennes, Soucouyant? Dem tings used tuh make sure I eh sleep in de night nah.

I looking tuh spread de culture wid mih own story. Buh I eh sure if at de end people go be scared like I used tuh be or eef dey go be laughing dey tail orf.

Ah say ‘people’ case I eh tink dis story appropriate fuh lil chirren doh. Dey too young tuh get ah complex like I get. So I planning tuh tell it tuh adults. I want dem adults in PJs, no ‘whatever yuh does sleep in’ ting nah. I eh want no body in marinos wid hole in dem and old funky drawers. I want man in PJs wid pants dong tuh dey ankles and shirts wid sleeves dong tuh dey wrist. All fuh hygienic reasons. Woman who does wear dey grand mudder drawers tuh bed? I want dem in men’s PJs fuh esthetic reasons. Dem udder women free tuh sleep in dey wispy piece ah nuttin clothing.

Anyway dis is how de ‘nancy story go go.

Once upon ah time it had ah country, real small, dat de rest ah de world didn’t give ah rat’s arse about but dat de people from dey tort dey rock in de sea was de center of de universe. Dis lil country didn’t have too many athletes tuh make and keep it famous, still its people would get vex when de rest of de world ignored dem or only showed its athletes fuh 5 seconds, okay 10 during de Olympics.  Buh de country had dis one fellah who was ah high ranking official in one ah de sports de country stank tuh high heavens in.

Dis fellah was ah savior tuh dat place as he would bring lil tings tuh de country dat it could only get because ah he position. How he get de job in de first place not part ah dis story cause me eh know how he do it and tuh be honest I frighten tuh find out.

Regardless, everybody was happy wid all dat he provided de country.

Den de almost unthinkable happen. De lil country qualify tuh make de championship tuh see which country would be de best at de sport dat dis official was high ranking in running. De people in de country were ecstatic. So too was de high ranking official, as his eyes must have been gleaming seeing endless signs of $$,$$$ maybe even $$$,$$$.

He secured hundreds of tickets fuh de tournament because of he position but he eh give dem away. Instead he put tuhgedder packages tuh de event dat was half way aroung de world and sold dem tuh he country people through the travel agency dat he and he family owned. And so de money jumped out of the hands of he country-folk and rolled into he pockets.

Not everybody was happy.

But he was. He was also ah stutterer. He had patterned himself after dat fellow from Sherwood Forest, Robin Hood. However he tort de fella was Robbing Hood and he could only muster de ‘robbing’ part as a result of his stuttering.

Den he organization start tuh look into he activities and he was in trouble. So he resign. Yes dat is right he resign wid he pockets still stuff wid money.

Somewhere along de line de party he was party to decide it go put he in its govahment. Dat did please many people but it did vex many others. But none ah dat stopped him as talking he liked and dis position allowed him tuh talk nonstop.It also helped his stuttering. And his talk did please many of the people but also did not fool many others.

Den the local upholders of the law in that land did claim it had no reasons to charge his arse wid doing anyting wrong. So he continued to talk. Then his leader put him in charge of law and order in de land. Yes law and order.

And yes he did come out swinging. His first act was tuh make de country safer by mashing up ah tent of some highway protestors. It did not make the country any safer against those who were really causing the country great harm, not to mention angst.

Then he decided to criticize the man at the helm of the law and order organization in violation of the rules that claimed only one agency had the power to remove said man at the helm of said law and order organization and he wasn’t part of dat organization wid dat power. But like a wild animal that has grown to not fear humans, he was similarly not afraid, boasting often that various processes had cleared him when in fact none had when any related document was read closely.

Eventually it was that he had his way and the helm guy was removed, replaced by an underling who had been part of some of the meetings to discuss his boss. Yes, it had been now proven that you do not have to fool all the people all the time just enough of them all the time. And there was many to pick from to do that.

Yes this is not LaDiabless, Papa Bois, Duennes or Soucouyant. Dem tings only kept yuh up at night. Dis is far far worse. Dis story go keep yuh up during de day tinking about how improbable it is. It so improbable dat it already is de stuff of which legends are made. It is not improbable that anyone daring to tell it is diagnosed as suffering from de Martha Mitchell Syndrome. Dat is where nobody doh believe de story and tink yuh mad tuh even suggest it could happen.

De idea dat ah suspected crook, okay ‘crook’ too harsh so ah go start again.

De idea dat ah man accused in some circles of dishonesty and even caught on audio engaged in suspicious behavior could be made ah govahment minister and den be put in charge of de folks who could out he light, legally I mean, de idea dat any ah dat could ever happen in ah country is why dis is ah ‘nancy story par excellence.

If it was real den there would be ah knock on de door and people claiming dat ah former female minister send dem would be coming tuh mih door right now and take mih tuh St. Anns one time.

Okay, let mih finish de story

So after he run de ………

Wait ah minute, somebody knocking on mih door.


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